April Showers

It has been a long time since I have updated. I actually did a pretty darn good job on my March goals, but it seems a little late in the game to be patting myself on the back for that, so I'm moving on ;)

I'm going to be real with you. I had some really hard weeks in March and early April. Out of nowhere my anxiety ramped up so badly that I ended up in the ER one night with a really prolonged panic attack. It was pretty scary! So the reason I didn't create goals for April is that I had just one goal, and that was to figure out a way to feel better.

The good news is that I think I am well on my way to achieving that goal. After chatting with my therapist (if you've never paid someone to listen to you, you've got to try it. seriously.) we decided it was time for me to see a new doctor. She gave me a recommendation and (by what I can only imagine was the grace of God) I was able to get in within the week. If you've never made an appointment with a specialist before, that's basically unheard of.

Anyway, I saw the new doctor and I immediately felt like I was in the right place. She asked a lot of questions and listened intently to my responses. I felt comfortable with her and that I could trust her judgment, which is, sadly, not something I can say about all the doctors I've seen. Together we decided on a course of action. I'm trying a new medication.

Honestly, I had a bit of an epiphany. I've been looking and looking for causes for the ups and downs I've been feeling over the past four years. At different points along the way I've blamed hormones, iron levels, diet, vitamins, motherhood in general. I found out I have a strong family history of depression and anxiety, so I blamed that too. But rather than continuing to focus on why why why is this happening to me and what is causing this, I've decided to set that aside for now and just focus on feeling better. It appears that my brain has some sort of chemical imbalance going on right now. So I'm going to take some medication to help with that. That sounds simple, but for me it was a big step. I may never have all the answers, and that's OK.

I'm starting to feel better. The panic attacks have gone away. I'm not waking up with a racing heart. Yesterday I noticed that I felt great, and I don't remember the last time I felt so...normal? So I guess that's just a sign of how crazy things had gotten.

Anywho, because I can't resist a corny joke, I'm hoping these April "showers" will bring some May "flowers". I'm not giving up. Whatever you're going through, I hope you don't give up either.

Whack-A-Mole is Better with Friends

I just wanted to take a minute to say something.

I've been struggling lately with a lot of different things. Nothing really serious, but just issues that continue to pop up again and again like a twisted game of Whack-A-Mole. It seems like no matter how hard I play, there's always another ugly little mole popping its head up, just when I thought I had it under control.

There have been moles of unexplained sadness, moles of doubt. Moles of spiritual emptiness, isolation, and unfulfilled longing. Moles of not feeling well and not knowing what's wrong.

Freaking moles. All over the dang place.

I hate them.

This is a hard game to play. I've never had very good hand-eye coordination.

Something woke me up last night and I ended up unable to get back to sleep for a while. I wasn't feeling great. My stomach was off yesterday (after lunch at my most favorite place, which just makes me sad) and frankly, I've been tired of the fighting stupid moles all the time. I felt so, so tired. And alone. And desperate for relief.

A thought occurred to me.

Maybe I should share what I have been going through. I've been trying to bash down the Mole of Isolation a lot lately, but it keeps popping up. And it is lonely. I'm tired of being alone.

I decided to take a chance and confide in some people that I care about, explain what's been going on.

I was scared to be vulnerable. I was afraid of telling the people I care about that I am having a hard time. I don't want to upset anyone. I tend to be a person that brings laughs. I like that about myself. I like to laugh and make others laugh too. So it was a little scary to tell my friends that I'm struggling. I wasn't sure how they would react.

I am so glad that I did.

It felt...like a weight had been lifted.

My friends are so, so caring. They are such lovely people. I can't believe it took me so long to become vulnerable. I think that I have been withdrawing, unconsciously, for a while. I don't want to do that anymore. That's not me.

So that's the truth. I am struggling with some things. Some days I feel great, I've whacked all the moles, and I am winning the game and tickets are flying out of the machine faster than I can fold them. Other times, I feel overwhelmed, like the damn mallet is broken and all of the moles popping up simultaneously arnd just leering at me. I am having a bit of a hard time.

It feels good to say that. To admit it. To come clean, to be vulnerable. It's scary, but it's good.

I know I am not alone. I guess part of me always knew that, but by intentionally reaching out to my friends, I was reminded that they really are always there for me.

It feels...like I've passed out the Whack-A-Mole mallets so that they can help me with this stupid game.

And you know what that's like, right?

When you're playing Whack-A-Mole and then your friend comes up and starts helping you by pummeling the moles with their hands? So that you are both working together, helping each other to beat the moles?

You can get so many more of the little buggers that way.

The game gets so much easier.

The same is true for life. For struggles.

You can do it alone, probably. You might be able to get by. Maybe you've got quick reflexes.

But it is so, so much easier and so, so much lovelier to allow others to come alongside you and help you when you need it. To share your struggles, your vulnerabilities. To lean on the people you care about.

So, my friends, I am holding out a mallet for you. Thank you for taking it, and helping me with the moles. I love you. I don't know where I would be without you.

Please know that I am always here for you as well.

My reflexes aren't great, but I'm ready to help you take a whack at your struggles in return.

We've got this.

Together, we can make it through this.

Peace Out, 2015

I like 2015, as a number. I like that it ends in a nice 5. It's crisp.

I am not sure if the events of the year have reflected the crispness of the number. It's been quite a year. It had a lot of ups and downs. I think that's how I would best categorize 2015: up and downy.

We started the year with water backing up in the basement that led us to thinking about home repairs and the possibility of moving. We started the year house shopping. We even made an offer on a house! I'm glad someone beat us to the punch. We decided to hold off moving until we've got the means to make a more significant jump. No sense going through the hassle of buying, selling, and packing if we aren't moving into a place we really love.

We had our kitchen walls and cabinets painted. We had to strip down 50 year old wallpaper to do this. Please, humans,  STOP layering wallpaper on top of wallpaper. In fact, just stop with the wallpaper in general. It's not cool. We also did a lot of rearranging and shuffling of people and things. I honestly feel quite content with our house now. I like being here. I know Tim is a bit restless, so who knows where we will end up.

I ran a couple of 5Ks this year. I went to the gym regularly for a while. I ran a lot. I did weights. I felt strong. I tried a few different fitness programs and lost 15lb before crashing and burning and putting it back on. Ah, well. I started karate, which I love, and I am hoping to continue in my quest for fitness next year. Maybe something will stick better. I am going to keep searching out ways to stay active. Maybe I'll even learn to make healthy eating a habit.

The girls continued to grow and change. Lexi learned a lot this year. How to swim, ride a bike, tie her shoes.  She played softball and piano and did karate and grew three inches. Lydia came into her own as well. One of the biggest changes I noticed was with her speech. She came into the year talking like a cute toddler and is going out of the year pronouncing and enunciating like a big girl. They're clever and energetic little people with explosive imaginations, that's for sure. They aren't babies any more. They're kids. I love that.

We got another cat this year. I almost forgot that Luna has only been with us since April, it seems like she's been around forever. She's gotten huge. Arya does not like her, and it is kind of funny to watch. But I still can't get them to stop pooping in the basement, which is driving me crazy. Overall, they are worth the hassle. They sure are snuggly.

We got a new niece this year as well, and she is great! Such a happy and sweet baby. It's weird to think I didn't even know about her existence at the beginning of the year! My other niece is 2 and a half and growing like a weed as well. Her speech is exploding. She's quickly becoming more of a kid and less of a toddler. I really love them. Being an aunt is a special kind of awesome, it's a role I embrace wholeheartedly. I look forward to watching them grow and inviting them over to bake cupcakes and watch Harry Potter movies.

Speaking of him, Harry Potter rejoined my life this year, which was a welcome diversion. I began reading the first book to the girls in October and we made it through the first four books and movies before I decided to stop them for now. It's definitely going over Lydia's head and is getting a bit intense for Lexi as well. They were NOT happy with me, they love Harry. Lydia tried to get me to start re-reading them again last night. I understand. There are no other books out there that have ever made me feel the way these books do. So, of course, I've re-watched all the movies myself and am currently 300 pages into the 5th book. Y'know, so I can better determine when the girls will be ready for it.

I read a lot of books. Over 30 grown up books, and I read thousands of pages out loud. I've made time for reading again. I love it. I'm still watching my shows (I just discovered Grey's Anatomy, so excuse me while I binge watch 11 seasons of that) but I am reading more and writing too. And now I have a friend to come over and watch TV with me and I love that! It's fun to share that with another person.

I've been writing a lot. I enjoy blogging. I am trying to keep something of a handwritten journal again. I'm not as consistent as I should be. I should probably work on that in the upcoming year. Perhaps I will buy myself a nice new journal. I received a cool writing game for Christmas that has been a fun way to flex those writing muscles.

Tim and I took our first solo trip this year. It was nice. We flew to Reading, Pennsylvania for friend's wedding. It was weird and nice to be without the kids for several days. I liked it. I did miss them. I'm glad we went. It's always fun to visit a new place. I hope we get the opportunity for a family trip next year.

Tim ended the year accepting a new job within his company that will hopefully provide new challenges, build new skills, and start him on a pathway with potential for advancing. He welcomes the changes. It should be exciting. I'm really proud of him.

The more I write, the more I realize that this was a rather good year. There were more ups than downs, honestly. Nothing gigantic and overwhelming, as we've had in years past. It was a pretty steady year.

The most prominent ups and downs, for me, have been in the way I've felt. It's weird, but I finally found the words to describe it. For much of this year, the way I feel upon waking up has determined my day rather than my day determining how I feel. It's like I'm overcome by these moods and feelings that seem to weasel deep into my brain without cause. It's frustrating, because that means I can feel super angry or super sad for no reason. I'm tired of it. I've been to several different doctors and tried several things, looking for causes and solutions. Yesterday, I spent a total of 3 hours at my doctor's office. I waited for nearly 2, then spent some time hashing things out with my doctor. He was worth the wait. We've got a plan, and I'm hoping it works.

2015.

It's been a good year. We are very blessed. I can't believe it is nearly over.

2016.

I don't like the number as much as the nice solid 2015, but I think I will like the year.

I hope it will be full of family adventures, books, laughter, travel, and challenges. I want to grow. I want to maintain a healthier lifestyle. I hope I will feel more consistent. I hope Tim finds satisfaction in his job. And more money, to tell the truth. That never hurts! Perhaps in a year we will even be in a new house.

So, peace out, 2015.

Bring it on, 2016.

I'm ready.

Night Wonderings

It is 5:24AM and I am awake.

I am not a morning person, so this is not intentional.

I went to bed shortly before midnight. Around 3:45, I woke up and heard some scuttling noises indicating that a child was up and using the bathroom. For some reason, I could not get back to sleep.

I got up and saw that a crack of light under Lexi's door, so I went into her room. She was sitting on her bed, examining her toe by the light of her reading lamp. Apparently she got up to go to the bathroom but her toe was hurting a lot.

It looked like a hangnail/someone possibly biting their toenails (ew) situation, so I got her a bandaid and wrapped it around the offending toe. She then told me that she is too cold with the fan on but too hot with the fan off. I helped her change out of the Christmas sweater she decided to wear to bed and into a t-shirt instead. Then I tucked her back in and made a mild threat about how I do not want to see light under her door in the middle of the night anymore.

She went back to sleep and I proceeded to lay in bed and think all of the things.

I guess I am not going to sleep any more tonight, or should I say this morning.

So here I am.

I threw a load of hand towels and napkins into the washing machine, sent an email I've been meaning to write for a while, and turned on the lights on the Christmas tree.

Since the middle of the night/early morning is the perfect time for insomnia-induced self-reflection, here goes.

I haven't been doing well with my goals this month.

My goal was to write five posts per week, and I have written about one per week.

My goal was to do a work out video two days per week and a walking video three days per week.

I have not done a work out all month and it has been weeks since I have done a walking video at all.

Normally, I would just cut myself some slack. It's December. Christmas is nearly here. It's a busy time.

But.

I haven't been feeling great. I've been feeling kind of slumpy and irritable still.

I wonder if it's because I have not gotten enough (any) real exercise.

I wonder if it is because I haven't taken the time to write and process my feelings as much as I need to.

Perhaps I need to start eating meals that include more nutritious items than ramen noodles.

I need to take better care of myself. I do!

There have been a few times that I have wanted to write, but I've not had the time to create or edit graphics, so I have refrained.

Pictures are nice, but writing is good for me, and I need to do it even when it looks raw and messy and without an accompanying photo.

I'm going to write more.

I need to exercise more. I think it would do me good to get outside and walk, even if it is a little cold. It's been tricky to do this because I don't like walking in the dark and it is dark by the time Tim gets home from work.

Too bad.

I need to move anyway.

I am going to exercise more.

I need to find some warm, filling, nutritious meals that I can look forward to this winter. Easy things, that I will actually make and eat.

I am going to look up some recipes. If you have any, please share them in the comments.

When I was a kid, I could not sleep at all on Christmas Eve. I was up most of the night, my stomach a ball of excited nerves. I couldn't wait to get downstairs and open presents.

When I heard Lexi stirring a few hours ago, I was afraid that she was having the same problem I used to have. Excitement induced, holiday-specific insomnia. It would only be fair.

I once woke my parents up at 2AM on Christmas morning because I was too excited to sleep.

Sorry Mom and Dad.

Lexi's night waking and toe injury seem like no big thing compared to what I used to put my parents through.

Plus, it gave me the opportunity to reflect and get some laundry done.

I am going to try to take better care of myself.

Perhaps I will start by going back to bed.

Regurgitated Thoughts

I have not published a blog post for a full week! That's the longest I have gone for over a month. I'm truly having one of those "too long" phases with my writing. The blog is living up to its name. I have so many different things to say, and ideas about how to say them, that I'm just not saying anything.

I think I will try to say all of them. A list is a good format for this due to the random nature of my brain and its ramblings. So here's what's been up for the past week.

1. I had a book idea. Actually, it would be more accurate to say I had a scene playing in my head that could perhaps be turned into a book, if only I could figure out how the scene works in the context of a larger story. Maybe it would be good short story material. I didn't actually consider that until I started typing that sentence. Hmmm.

2. I had about five days where I felt terrible. It was weird. I think my hormones were seriously out of whack because I felt really down, yet also really irritable and anxious. It was not a fun span of time. I am still trying to figure out the words to use to describe the whole thing to my doctor and hopefully stop it from happening again. I have a sneaking feeling something is off with my body and I would like to solve whatever it is.

3. I am officially done Christmas shopping and 90% done wrapping! This is pretty unusual for me. I've done the majority of my shopping online this year, which I love. Thank you, Amazon! I am waiting on a couple more things for the kids. I got everything out to start wrapping last night and realized that things looked a little uneven (It appeared that Lydia was the favorite, if you were to judge by the piles) and so I had to even things up a bit by placing one last order. I'm really excited for the kids to open their gifts this year. I think we're going to surprise and delight them. I love Christmas. I don't buy them much outside of holidays and birthdays so it's a fun time for me.

4. I am a Harry Potter nerd. I started reading the first book aloud to the kids in October. Now they are hooked and we are over halfway through the fourth book, which is over 700 pages, in case you didn't know that. I think I'm reading aloud for at least an hour per day. My voice is tired. I've also rewatched the movies recently  and I have had the joy of watching A Very Potter Musical for the first time, which is an absolute delight. Right now I am watching A Very Potter Sequel and I have not laughed so hard in a long time. It's good to be a nerd. It's satisfying to hear Lexi call Lydia a "dung bomb" and to hear Lydia pretending to be Hermione, or Crookshanks, or Hedwig. The books were a very enjoyable part of my growing up and it is wonderful to share it with my kids.

5. We've been listening to the Beatles. I recently went through a giant book of CDs from my high school days. My dear friend Kayla and I used to drive around listening to show tunes, so when we got together last Friday, I needed to get those CDs back out. I also found my "1" CD and pulled that out. I forgot how many awesome songs are on there. The girls are enjoying it as well. They both sing along to Love Me Do, which, along with Lady Madonna, is one of my favorites.

6. I am reading. Tim has been trying to get me to read The Name of the Wind for years. It's one of his favorite books but I've been resisting because I'm typically not a fan of the epic fantasy novels he loves so much. I dislike all the verbose descriptions. I decided to finally give this book a try and I'm liking it a lot. It's like 900 pages so I doubt I will finish it any time soon.

7. I am struggling with what to blog about. I've been working on my Faces of Homeschooling project. I've been tweaking interviews that I have done and have been searching for new people to chat with. It's coming along, slowly. I want to be sure to keep it fresh and interesting. I dunno. I guess I'm having a bit of writer's block as far as the blog goes. I haven't had any great ideas for posts jump out at me recently. I had a goal of writing five days per week this month, but that is not happening. I am wondering if I need to do another 30 Day Challenge in January.

8. Changes abound. In the past week, several potential job changes have been presented for Tim. Nothing is certain yet, but he may be facing an important decision. It's exciting but it is also a little scary to think about the choices we make today affecting us down the road. We also went and looked at a house! It's not the right house for us, but it reopened the idea of moving. I personally am happy where we are but I know we probably won't be here forever. It would be nice to have more space. The idea of moving makes me tired. Changes are a little scary.

9. We're still doing school. The plan is to continue through December 23rd, which would enable Lexi to finish her 2nd grade reading program and start the 3rd grade reading program in January. I like the roundness of that. I think we all like the routine of school. The kids don't complain about being bored and seem much more eager to entertain themselves after a morning full of reading and learning. We'll take a week or so off for Christmas, depending on how everyone does.

So, in a nutshell, that's what is going on over here lately. I expect to write another Faces of Homeschooling post tomorrow, so stay tuned!

Pumping Iron

Ever since my 4-year-old was born, I have not felt entirely like myself.

I've experienced exhaustion, anxiety, and irritability in varying degrees unlike I'd ever felt before she was born. I haven't felt that great and it has been frustrating. I've been to a variety of doctors in search of answers and have tried different medications without finding anything that got me back to feeling like myself in the long term.

I think I might finally be on to something.

Over the summer, I had my blood checked and discovered that my iron was freakishly low, so I've been on supplements since then. At a recheck in November, my ferritin level had climbed from 4 to 22, so I'm making progress, but I still have a ways to go. According to my doctor (and quite a bit of research I've read) a woman's ferritin should be a minimum of 30, with 50-100 being better.

The other day, my husband Tim sent me this article called The Missing Element in Female Fitness - The Iron Deficiency Epidemic, and I wanted to share it with you all because I found it to be really informative and pertinent to women's health.

The write explains that there are subtle levels of having low iron, and that even a slight deficiency can cause the symptoms I was experiencing. I'd been feeling exhausted and irritable (outside of what is normal for a mom of two) for quite some time and had had so much trouble pinpointing exactly what was causing it.

The writer goes on the explain the difference between adequate and optimal iron levels and that many general practitioners differ as to what level of iron they consider to be fine for women. I've been to a multitude of doctors in the past few years, and this was the first time my iron level was mentioned. I'm wondering how long I've had low iron for and if it is the main cause of the issues I've been dealing with off and on since Lydia was born over four years ago. Time will tell, I suppose. I hope I continue to feel better as the iron stores in my body climb to where they need to be.

By sharing what I have gone through, I hope you're moved to do a few things.

First, I think having a physical and blood work done on a regular basis is important. Especially if you aren't feeling like yourself. Our insurance completely covered a physical for Tim and I both this year. My doctor asked questions pertaining to nearly every area of my body and in turn, helped me solve a few other minor issues I've been experiencing but never would have thought to ask about.

Second, I think it is crucial that we busy moms take the time to take care of ourselves. Approach your health issues the way you'd approach your kids' health issues- do your research, speak with your doctor about your concerns, and take care of yourself. Get enough sleep. Give yourself time to relax now and then. Go easy on yourself when you are feeling under the weather. You can't take care of your family if you don't take care of yourself. Set a good example for your kids.

Third, don't give up on feeling good. If you, like me, have had issues you've been struggling to overcome for a while, I understand how frustrating that can be. Sometimes it just feels like it'd be easiest to accept feeling crummy and give up on finding a cause. Please don't give up on yourself. Keep searching until you find a doctor who is willing to stick with you until you find answers. 

So, my iron is (hopefully) still on its way up and I am feeling much better than I have in a long time. The quest for wellness is hard, but worth it. I want to encourage you to seek out a state of feeling good. If you don't feel good, life can be a real struggle. And sometimes, it doesn't take much to feel better. Get a physical, have some blood work done, and see if there is anything out of whack. Consider it a Christmas present to yourself.

Life is too short to accept feeling crummy.

The Cost of Quiet

I like to read.

I like to write.

I like to watch grown-up shows on TV. 

I like quiet in which to do these things.

I am a stay-at-home, homeschooling mom of two chattery children. Quiet is a luxury.

Quiet is highly coveted and highly prized in my home. After a long day of feeding children, answering complex questions, cleaning up cat poop, teaching lessons and breaking up fights, I am tired. I like alone time during which I get to be an adult acting on my own interests rather than those of someone else. I think this is entirely normal. As parents, we all need the opportunity to do our own thing outside of our children. Although I would not change it, I must admit that I have not chosen a pathway that has made "doing my own thing" very easy.

Some of you are in my shoes. You're with your kids all day long. You hear a constant hum of questions and blaming and whining and crying and overly loud voices.  You might even have a baby, and while babies themselves can make finding a chunk of quiet difficult, when coupled with older children, they make it nearly impossible. Some of you have more children than I do, and I have a feeling that with each extra child, the chances of obtaining quiet diminish exponentially. 

Some of you are stay-at-home-parents with school age kids whom you drop off in the morning, pick up in the afternoon, then wrangle with until you cart them off to bed.  You might have a glorious span of 6-8 hours of quiet during the day.  I am happy for you, and sometimes (ok, most days) I envy your quiet. I keep telling myself that if I had all that time during the day, I'd work out all the time, keep the house spotless, and learn some cool new skills. But we all know the truth is that I'd read all day long, in my pajamas, whilst eating poptarts, and only change to go pick up the kids. If you have kids that are gone all day while you are home, please enjoy your quiet on my behalf. Please use it wisely. Please do all of the things.

Some of you go to work, then come home and deal with children until you put them to bed and then crash into bed yourselves. You might get a little more adult interaction and brief opportunities for quiet during the day than I do, but you have to use your brain for meaningful tasks and you are probably much more exhausted than I am. You understand the struggle. You are living it. 

It is possible to create quiet in your day. 

But quiet is not free.

Quiet comes at a cost.

When I took Economics in school, I learned about "opportunity cost" which is basically the idea that nothing at all is free, because even if something doesn't cost you money, it costs you time, or costs you the opportunity to do or have something else. 

You can actually pay directly for quiet in the form of giving your money to a babysitter and then heading for the hills. Sometimes, that's the best and easiest way to obtain quiet. It can be totally worth it to spend cold, hard, cash on quiet.

Other times, you're strapped for cash or there is no one to watch your children, or you just want to be in your own home, in the quiet, and you're desperate and have to try something else. 

Quiet can still be attainable, but this kind of quiet comes with a hefty opportunity cost. In my 7 years of parenting, I've discovered that there are three ways in which I can achieve my delicious quiet. But all three come at a cost. 

Quiet = Gigantic Messes

There are some toys that my kids will play with for hours. Play-doh. Legos. Spielgaben. These toys happen to be, for lack of better words, a real bitch to clean up.  Tiny pieces are spread all over the carpet and under the furniture. Dried up play-doh is caked to a variety of surfaces. Paint is another one on this list. My kids could paint for days but they are going to cover every inch of themselves and the kitchen with it in the process. The way this usually works is that I get out said messy toy, set the kids up in the kitchen or living room, then bolt back to my room to pretend like nothing is happening outside of whatever it is I am enjoying during my quiet. When I emerge later, I almost always gasp at just how awful the scene is. Sometimes, it is worth it. Sometimes, it's not even close. 

Quiet = Zombie Children

In our house, we have rules about screen time. The kids aren't allowed to use screens until 4pm. This is for a reason. Once I turn on the TV, my kids will be quiet until they get hungry. They sit, nearly silently (unless they are fighting over what to watch) like little zombies, their bodies still and their eyes transfixed on the screen. Turn on the TV and provide them with sustenance and I can probably get three straight hours of quiet. The TV can make a really great babysitter, if I let it. If I pass the kids on my way to the kitchen to refill my coffee, I can see their little faces blank and staring and I feel guilty. I feel as though my selfishness is turning my children into puddles of goo. It's unfortunate. Maybe instead of quiet = zombie children, this should say quiet = guilt. Hmm. While I do allow the TV to babysit now and then, I feel too much guilt to let it happen very often. 

Quiet = Sleep Deprivation

This one is tricky. It starts out harmless enough. Yay, the kids are in bed! Time to do all the things! I unload the dishwasher while listening to an audiobook. I put on a workout DVD. I read my book. I take a shower. By then, two or three hours have passed and I should probably get myself to bed. But I don't. Because I am way behind on my shows. And my book is SO good.  And I have a funny idea to write about. So instead of going to bed, I keep reading and watching Netflix and blogging and before I know it, I'm doing the math and my kids are going to be up in less than 5 hours. Crap. I'm going to feel this in the morning. The next day will be long, and I'll be cranky with my kids because of my poor choices. But the quiet is just so enticing. I'm a night owl, and I find myself making this choice a lot. And therefore I am exhausted most of the time. 

I was given the gift of quiet, but it came with a huge side of tired. 

In short, there's a reason why my house is a mess, screens sometimes babysit my kids, and I am frequently tired and cranky. I just need some quiet in my days to keep me sane.

What is the cost of quiet in your household?

November & December Goals

Here's how I kept track of my progress this month. I also had a checklist on the wall. 

It's the last day of the month and I've got goals on my mind. It's time to reflect on what I managed to accomplish this month and what I hope to accomplish next month. I wasn't initially sure how to organize this, but I think I'll sort them by how well I did. So, here's my analysis of how I did achieving the goals I set for November. 

Read four books this month  - Did it! I read two entire Harry Potter books aloud to the kids, as well as two books to myself, and began several others, as well as an audiobook.

Go on a good date with my husband  - We managed to go on TWO dates this month! We went to dinner and out shopping for the first and saw a movie for the second.

Attend karate lessons each Monday - Did it, and loved it!

Do something one-on-one with each child - Did it! I had a date with each girl, and they loved it.

Print out one more of the Spielgaben guides to keep handy - Did it! I printed just the pages we were planning to use.

Figure out a way to make Social Studies more of a priority and study it each week - We ditched our old curriculum, bought something new, and are enjoying it so far!

Encourage Lexi to read independently every day - Turns out, she's already doing this each night before bed! I encouraged her by allowing her to stay up a bit late.

Publish at least two posts that get over 100 views - Blew this one out of the water. Ten posts had over 100 views and one had over two hundred. I was pleasantly surprised!

Write a "throw back" post using one of my old journals as inspiration - Check!

Submit one article to Scary Mommy - I submitted two. Both were rejected, but I am glad that I tried. 

Reach Fit Bit goal at least five days per week - I averaged four days per week of reaching my goal.

Complete a video work out two days per week - I missed two work outs but otherwise completed this goal.

Do a hands-on lesson with Lydia twice per week - We did one activity per week. She asked to do a different set of activities so we started that up.

Blog every day during the month of November - I only missed two days!

Narrow down the focus of my blog and find my voice - I want to be able to write about whatever, but I did find that my homeschooling and parenting posts were the most popular. So perhaps my voice is "Weird Homeschooling Lady with Strange Ideas".

Try out two new healthier lunch ideas - I tried out one healthy lunch idea. It was stir fry. 

Figure out how to organize Lexi's room so it's not a huge mess - We rearranged and dejunked the room, added a new cart/night stand by her bed for her things, and added a reading chair. It's still kind of a mess.

Complete the "Live Abundantly" Bible study five days per week. - Abandoned. I started this, but I honestly felt like I was going through the motions and not getting anything out of it, so I stopped. I didn't want to spend time doing something just to check it off the list. 

Complete two pages in my 2014 photo book. - Abandoned this after I discovered I did not have any blue ink in my printer and could not print photos. 

Paint/decorate Lexi's room so it is no longer so pink and girly - Abandoned. After I took a closer look and realized she still draws on the wlls/furniture sometimes (when does that end?!) I decided it was NOT worth putting in the money yet. Maybe when she is older.

Visit the zoo before it gets too cold to go - Did not get there :( We were busy on the days that were nice. Maybe we'll have a nice day in December?

Take a day trip to Lawrence together - Did not get there this month. We'd planned to go back because Lydia saw something she REALLY wanted to buy in one of the shops, buuuut I found it at Walmart.

All in all, I had a productive month! I managed to make a large amount of cake, I finished a quilt, hosted two birthday parties at our house, read WAY more than normal, wrote a lot, and watched quite a bit less TV. It was a good month. I liked having monthly goals rather than daily goals, and I used my planner to keep track of each day. I really liked this system, so I will continue for December. 

Here's what I am hoping to accomplish this coming month. As you can see, I've already started to pencil (pen actually, which is kind of risky!) some in on my calendar!

Personal

Go on a date with my husband

Read four books this month
Finish reading "On Writing Well"

Complete one audiobook

Complete five pages in my gratitude journal each week
Participate in some kind of service project before Christmas

Wellness

Earn my orange belt in karate

Reach Fit Bit goal four days per week

Complete Metabolic Aftershock two days per week

Complete Walking at Home DVD three days per week (while listening to an audiobook! two birds, one stone!)

Family & Friends

Take each girl on another Mother/Daughter date

Host a family game night and invite siblings to come
Get the cats to STOP pooping in the basement!!
Take a drive with the kids to go see Christmas lights
Have a movie night with a friend

Homeschool

Complete one Spielgaben activity with Lydia each week
Finish Lexi's 2nd Grade Reading program
Help Lexi learn her music notes

Writing

Write an average of 5 posts per week

Publish a Faces of Homeschooling post each week
Write one Homeschooling is for Crazy People post

Look for other places to submit my work


So that's what I am hoping to accomplish this month. 
What about you?

This post is part of the 30 Day Challenge.

In which I struggle to use photo editing software

Fun fact: When I was a teenager, I had my own website.

 It was called Sliced Bread and it showcased what I thought to be the greatest things since sliced bread. I kept it running on Homestead site builder for several years. At first, it was free. I actually remember signing up to be a part of the company launch and getting an email telling me it was time. Time for me to create my own website. It was (and still is, from a brief look at the current site) a way for an average joe to use templates and such rather than html to create a nice looking website. After an enjoyable period of free website maintenance, it became $40 for a year of hosting. Then it jumped it over $100 per year. I shut it down about a year after that.

Along with listing the greatest things since sliced bread, I kept a list of funny and inspiring quotes and uploaded WinZipped copies of digital Dogz, Catz and Babyz files to share. I also shared my poetry and scanned copies of my artwork with the world. It was a lot of fun for something that had very little point.

Frames and buttons were a big deal at that time, but I couldn't figure out how to make frames for my site, so I saved a blank copy of a page with a sidebar and clickable buttons and used that as the basis for each page on the site. I created my own graphics using a free trial of Jasc Paint Shop Pro that I illegally continued using beyond the 30-day-trial by changing the date using my computer's internal calendar. Yep, I was a little crook.

Regardless, I had a blast creating a purple starry theme for my website. I wish I still had the images and even the text of the site (including the official List!) to share with you. I believe it has been lost in a computer crash since then. It was a beautiful showcase of what a nerdy young teen with a lot of free time can create.

Today, I received an early Christmas present from my beautiful husband. It is my very own, completely legal and fully paid for copy of PaintShop Pro! My 13-year-old self is squealing with joy. I have always wanted my very own photo editing software and now that I'm blogging, I'm hoping I can use it to make some really cool images.

I've been messing with it for a few hours now and it turns out, I have a LOT to learn. There are so many options. Nothing I have made so far looks good. Essentially, I have no idea what I am doing. Yaaaay. But I will not give up! I will simply tap into my inner 13-year-old and together, we will create some mediocre images. Perhaps, with time, we'll even learn to create something decent.

I predict a beautiful mess is on its way. Get excited!

It's true.

I was just playing around...but I think I will actually write this. 

This post is part of the 30 Day Challenge.

Why do I buy my kids toys?

This mess afforded me several hours of peace and quiet.

Why do I continue to buy toys for my kids? Seriously though.

A box from Amazon arrived on the porch the other day. It actually contained a couple of birthday gifts for my eldest. It was a nice sized box. I envisioned myself using it to carry food to a family with a new baby, or to pack full of gifts to take to my family's house on Christmas. So I tossed it down the stairs and into the basement to save for later.

Then my 4-year-old discovered it and kidnapped it into her room. 

From there, she pulled the sides down and made it into a boat. She got out colored pencils and drew all over it. She filled it up with all the junk she keeps hoarded in her room. She spent hours playing with the box. She even invited me to play in her boat with her. 

I had to recycle the box. She'd smashed it all up and it took up 1/3 of the floor space in her room. I had cleaning to do. So I tossed it out.

Today, another couple of packages arrived. One of them had a great quantity of brown packing paper. Again, my child took off with it. She ran through the halls with it. The cats enjoyed the crinkling sound it made when they sat on it. I was going to save it because I might return something that came in the box, but Tim recycled it when he got home from work. 

We went to my parents' house for dinner and my girls, along with my niece, spent most of their time running around and playing with flashlights. They had a blast.

Which brings me back to my point. Why, why, why, do I keep buying toys?

Honestly, I don't even buy that many. My kid is getting one toy, some books, a chair and a game for her birthday. But somehow, they accumulate. Are they reproducing of their own accord now? They litter the house. Tiny pieces are spread all over. I do my best to get rid of toys and games that are broken or neglected. I've seen my friends' houses. I think we have less than most. Yet, I am overwhelmed.

My little one is the worst about it. She doesn't so much play as she spreads all her belongings all over the floor. Rather than playing with her dolls and dollhouse, she took each piece of furniture apart to, and I quote, "See what else I could make from it!" For. Real?!?

I request that you not buy my children anything for their birthday or Christmas. They'd be just as happy with a box, or a pencil. A flashlight, a book, or a long piece of paper. A hug.

I'm boycotting toys. Who's with me?

This post is part of the 30 Day Challenge.

Don't give up, 'cause it'll all work out

I was trying to figure out what to write today and I thought it would be fun to browse through my old journals and see if my teenaged self wrote anything inspiring. I found a lot of talk about guys, friends and even a fun one about how I was mad that I had to sit at the kids table at Thanksgiving dinner. (Still sittin' there.) But written in the margin across one page, I found a quote from a song:

"Count your blessings

Count them 1, 2, 3

Don't give up

'Cause it'll all work out"

At the time of this entry, I was 18 years old, freshly graduated from high school, and waiting on my passport to arrive so I could take a trip to Japan with my school. We were leaving in just a few days and my passport, which we had paid an extra $75 to expedite, had not yet arrived. If it didn't come in time, I'd miss the flight with the students and teacher that I knew. I'd have to fly alone, at a later date. I was panicking. I was in the shower when I heard footsteps, my mom running up the stairs and into my bathroom. She shouted to me, "It's here, it's here!" and I just broke down and cried, relief washing over me. It would all work out indeed.

I really needed to hear this song again today. I've been feeling discouraged. About my writing, and where to go with it. About another rejection, and whether I should keep trying or go a different direction. About whether I'm spending my time well or just spinning my wheels. I felt uncertain about everything. 

But then I discovered that journal entry with the lyrics written in it. The song is called Strange Cup of Tea and it is by Sister Hazel. It was my anthem throughout my teen years. I listened to it over and over again on the CD player in my room, particularly when I was feeling down, but also when I was celebrating. I was given the assignment in English class to select a song to write about, and this song was it. It maintained me through hard times. Take a few minutes to have a listen. Listening to my song reminded me of all the blessings I have in my life. It reminded me of all the uncertainties I've experienced before. And though my life looks different than I had ever imagined, it has all worked out. 

Listen to the song. Take the message in, take it to wherever you are struggling today. Remember not to give up, for truly, it will all work out.

This is my anthem. What's yours?

Sometimes I wake with a weary head

And I wonder how I'll ever get through

Then I think of the things you said

How you told me to myself be true

My faith in things unseen

My belief that it'll all work out

May seem like a strange cup of tea

But if it's all right with you then it's all right with me

On my feet I walk, with my legs I run

In my arms I'll hold another day

With my head I think, from my heart I sing

And with my hands to my face I pray

There's times I feel with the strains of life

I could just turn around, turn around walk away

Then a strength like a beam from above

Lifts me up by the hand and it leads me to say

"Good things for good people you see

Good things, they seem to all work out

May seem like a strange cup of tea

But if it's all right with you, well, then it's all right with me"

On my feet I walk, with my legs I run

In my arms I'll hold another day

With my head I think, from my heart I sing

And with my hands to my face I pray

Gettin' by, it ain't enough for me

I know what I like, I like what I see

I'm not only flesh and blood but

I'm heart and soul I know, well

Sometimes I feel at the end of the day

Was it all worth while or have I settled for less?

I sit back and you're there by my side

Sincerely you say, "We're both so blessed"

Count your blessings, count them one, two, three

Don't give up 'cause it'll all work out

It may seem like a strange cup of tea but

If it's all right with you, it's just fine with me, yea

On my feet I walk, with my legs I run

In my arms I'll hold another day

With my head I think, from my heart I sing

And with my hands to my face I pray, oh yeah, now

Artist: Sister Hazel

Album: Fortress

Released: 2000

Writer(s): Ryan Carter Newell, Ken Block, Andrew Copeland, Jeff Beres, Mark E. Trojanowski

Copyright: Crooked Chimney Music Inc., Music Corp. Of America Inc. 

This post is part of the 30 Day Challenge.

Homeschooling is for Crazy People - Reason #1

I'm a crazy homeschooling mom and I don't care who knows it. This is the start of a series in which I'm going to share the secret life of homeschooling with you. I can't promise it'll be predictably regular, but as I uncover more reasons why homeschooling is crazy, I'll be sure to share them with you.  

First and foremost, I love what we do.  There are days that make me want to ship the kids off on the next bus outa here, but in general, I'm happy with my choice.  But there are certain things about homeschooling that require, well, someone...special. A crazy person.  Today, I took my kids to my doctor appointment and the first reason that homeschoolers are a little crazy came to me right away.

Reason #1 that Homeschooling is for crazy people:
We're ALWAYS together. 

Why this is crazy:

Doctor appointments.  With children in tow, doctor appointments can become awkward.  I love my general practitioner.  He goes above and beyond to talk with my kids and has told me that they are more important than him and if they need something during my appointment, he should be the one to wait.  Wow, do I love him!  That being said, certain appointments (rhymes with synetologist)  can be awkward.  I try to get someone to watch them for those but they've joined me more than once, and came away without being scarred for life.  

Chilling in the waiting room, which became 10x louder upon our arrival.

Constant chatter.  I enjoy chatting with my kids and my little one has an adorable cartoon character voice, but sometimes, I just want to hear the sound of my own thoughts.  I typically cannot make it through a good song on the radio without input from the backseat.

Extra "help".  Some tasks, such as shopping for feminine products, making a phone call to an insurance and/or cable company, or running a series of errands, are just easier without the help of children. I can run into the store and grab a few things in just a few minutes, but when the kids are with me, I have to get them out of their car seats, remind them not to touch everything they see, and keep them corralled while I try to remember why I'm at the store in the first place.

Lack of alone time. You know that thing you'd choose to do if you had absolutely nothing else on your list? Like binge watching Netflix or reading more than two paragraphs of a book in one sitting?  Yeah, kids can sense when you're jonesing for some me time and derail it instantly.  Sometimes when they are playing nicely, I'll slip away to my room to read, but they quickly notice my absence and invite me to join them in watching mind-numbing children's shows or taking every book we own off the book shelf.

Permanent audience.  Certain activities, like trying on underwear (or last year's swim suit, yikes!) do not need to be witnessed by anyone.  How bout when you step on a pile of Legos and obscenities flow from your lips? Or when you've discovered cat poop in the basement again and straight up scream at your pet? It can be hard to have these most private moments witnessed by young people.  

Why this is awesome:

We function well together. "My kids would hate being with me that much!" someone once confided to me.  Well, when you're around each other this much, you learn how to deal.  You don't have a choice. The circumstances require that you learn how to live together, semi-peacefully. We've learned how to get along and not kill each other.  We've learned to accept each other's quirks and support one another's weird endeavors. Do we sometimes drive each other crazy? Of course. But over the course of (most) days, we're enjoying each other far more than annoying each other. Which brings me to...

Sisterly bonding. My girls are great friends. They are two years and eight months apart in age, but they play very well together. They bicker, like all siblings, but they have heard me say, "People are more important than things" enough times and they know that they have to work things out. They don't realize that they are in separate grades and would be segregated if they went to a traditional school. At homeschool gatherings, they play with one another's friends. Age is not something that divides them. All this time together has made them buddies.

They sure love each other.

Increased patience.  People often say, "Oh, I don't have the patience to be with my kids all day!" and I laugh inside.  Do you think I did when I first started? Absolutely not.  It has been a learning experience. My patience has increased tenfold out of necessity.  I pick my battles.  I can't let every little thing they do get to me, or else I'll be annoyed all day.  I've gained a lot of perspective from being around my kids day in and day out.  Some hills, annoying as they may be, are not worth dying on.  They are little people that are learning about this world and they deserve grace, just as I do when I have a temper tantrum and yell at the cats.

Real world learning. They come along with me wherever we need to go, which leads to a lot of learning. When they asked why I needed to go to the doctor, I explained that I haven't been feeling well because my iron was low. This led to a discussion of all the different things our bodies need to function, which spiraled into a discussion of different vitamins our bodies need and what we can eat to get them. A trip to the post office leads to an explanation of how the mail comes to arrive in our box every day. A drive through the ATM and I'm explaining to the kids that the machine does NOT just spit out money, but actually withdraws it from my account. The opportunities for learning are endless when you're out in the real world.

Perk of being together: Good behavior gets noticed!

So while there are some frustrating aspects to having my kids go everywhere I go, I wouldn't change it.  I've learned to save my grocery shopping for weekends (shopping alone takes half the time of shopping with kids) and I regularly attend Mom's Night Out events. Some days I call in the reinforcements (aka Grandparents) and feel blessed to have the time to myself, even if it is so I can go to the dentist. 

One thing is certain: I'm a crazy homeschooler, and I love it. 

This post is part of the 30 Day Challenge.

The mini fridge shall set you free

I have a story that I need to get off my chest. 

About a year ago, Tim's company invited him to a leadership conference in Chicago.  Staying home alone with the kids for several days sounded like a bummer, so I decided it would be fun to join him in Chicago. And instead of spending hundreds of dollars on airfare, I decided that driving the 7 + hours with the kids was the way to get there. Naturally. 

I really planned well for this trip. I mean that sincerely. I mapped out where we were going to stop along the way. I convinced my aunt and uncle to let us crash with them for a couple of nights to save money and add fun. I packed a cooler to the gills with all the fixings for sandwiches and healthy snacks that anyone could possibly want. I purchased head phones and personal sized CD players for the kids and checked out a stack of audiobooks and CDs from the library for them. I took the van in and spent several hundred dollars getting it fixed up and ready. I bought new tires for the dang thing. I purchased a membership to a local museum in order to receive free reciprocal entry to Chicago's museums. I was that good. 

The road trip went very well. The kids were excellent in the car and the driving went by quickly on the way there. We stopped at my aunt and uncle's house and had a joyous reunion complete with delicious food and great conversation.

It was wonderful to be with my cousins again.

I felt pumped and confident to drive the final leg of the journey to the hotel that Tim's company booked. We planned to visit the Field Museum the following day. I was patting myself on the back for being such a thoughtful planner.

That's when things started to derail.

See, I had some expectations for this hotel.

I expected there would be a mini fridge in which I could store the contents of my cooler.

I expected there would be free WiFi that I could use to further plan transportation around the city. 

I expected that there would be a continental breakfast or at least room service.

I expected that everything would go according to plan because I had planned really well, after all. 

Needless to say, things did not go according to plan.

All things considered, it did have a nice view.

We arrived and discovered that there was no mini fridge in the room. Our lunch meat, coffee creamer, string cheese and other snacks needed to be refrigerated. I started to panic a little. I quickly scavenged through the variety of brochures laying about until I saw that you could pay $30 to have a small mini fridge brought up to your room. Pay for a mini fridge?! This was a NICE hotel! We'd stayed in a crappy hotel in Omaha a month earlier and it had a mini fridge in the room. I was furious. I didn't want to do it.

So, I did what any idiot would do. Nothing. I let all the food sit out and become sketchy because I was angry and disappointed that things weren't going my way. Real mature, huh?

I tried to hop on the WiFi to look at public transportation plans for the next morning but alas, there was a fee for using WiFi. What the?! Again, the cheapo hotel in Omaha had free WiFi. Heck, McDonald's had free WiFi. (This fact didn't dawn on me until much, much later and would have possibly helped the situation greatly). I wasn't going to pay for WiFi. I attempted to access the public transportation website using Sprint's spotty service on my phone. It didn't go well.

I managed to speak to someone in the front office and arranged to have a shuttle pick us up and take us to the subway station the next morning at 10. 

I found a menu among the brochures and decided to splurge and order a nice breakfast for us as I quickly discovered that this hotel also lacked a continental breakfast. I was irritated about this but the food sounded great so I circled the items that I wanted and checked the box indicating that I wanted to arrive between 8 and 9am. I attached the menu to the doorknob and went to bed, frustrated but determined.

When our food had not arrived at 9:15 the next morning, I began to grow anxious. The menu had disappeared from the doorknob so I knew they had my order. Around 9:30, I decided to call downstairs and see what was taking so long. 

Nothing was taking so long, as they had not received my order and were not preparing any food or planning to deliver anything to us. The menu had apparently been lost or had never arrived. I still wonder what happened to it. 

I began to cry. Everything was out of my control. The spoiled food. The lack of internet access. The missing breakfast. The kids were complaining that they were hungry. The shuttle was leaving soon and I had no idea what we were going to eat.  If we missed the shuttle, how would we get to the city? Would the whole trip be a bust? Maybe I just wasn't cut out for a single parent road trip.

I became completely overwhelmed by the loss of control. I convinced myself that I was failing. Rather than using my head to think smart (McDonald's drive thru, anyone? Maybe eat some of the bread that hadn't been lost to spoilage?) I sank into panic and despair that affected me for the rest of our stay at the hotel. 

I ended up crying at the front door of the hotel restaurant. We were able to run in and grab some pastries and I begged the hostess to let us just take them and go without paying, to which she obliged, probably because I looked a little psychotic. Even after that lucky turn of events, I had a hard time pulling it together. 

In the end, the hotel was the worst part of the trip. No, my attitude toward it was. We had a wonderful time in the city, visiting the Field Museum as well as Shedd Aquarium.

Who doesn't love dinosaurs?

Jellyfish are my fave.

 After paying a ridiculous amount for a cab to the museum, I got brave and even drove us into the city the next day, where we could park in a garage and came out ahead in terms of money spent. But my nasty, wimpy attitude seriously marred the trip. I was grumpy with the kids and took out my frustration on them several times. I withdrew and sort of shut down instead of throwing myself into the moments that we drove so far to have. 

Looking back, I know where I went wrong. I was inflexible. I was unwilling to make last minute changes. I let fear of failure paralyze me. 

I should have forked over the $30 for the stupid mini fridge. In the grand scheme of things, that would have solved a lot of issues. Then we would have had something decent to eat the next morning when breakfast didn't arrive. I would have had something to feed the kids for dinner instead of taking them out to an expensive restaurant where they ate nothing. In that way I would have been modeling some much better behaviors for my girls. Instead they learned that mommy melts down when things don't go her way. Exactly the opposite of how I expect them to behave.

I could have called room service earlier to see what was up with breakfast. We may have been able to order something that morning and eat it before we went on our way. 

I don't remember how much the WiFi cost, but I'm sure I could have paid for it. Or, I could have asked the helpful people at the front desk for advice in navigating the city. 

Sometimes, flexibility is simply a positive personality trait. Other times, it is an absolute necessity. It isn't always easy to roll with the punches or admit that things aren't going to go your way and cut your losses. But if you are going to be happy in life, it is essential to be flexible and to not give up when life throws you curve balls. You're better than that.

After all, the mini fridge has the power to set you free. But first, you have to let it. 

How would you rank your flexibility on a scale of one to five, one being you pulled a Melissa, five being you bought the mini fridge, no questions asked?

This post is part of the 30 Day Challenge.

The 30 Day Challenge

Obviously I'm getting my money's worth from this planner...

Long ago, I heard about NaNoWriMo, or National Novel Writing Month. The idea is that you gather together with other writers, experienced and new alike, to write an entire novel over the course of the month of November. I was intrigued by the concept. A whole book in one month? Wow. That takes discipline. I thought it sounded fun, like something I might want to try.

There was just one problem. I have ZERO ideas for a novel right now. Not a shred of a story line or even a couple of character traits I could smash together and give a name to. Nothing.  Without an idea to write, could I even make something up that would be worth anyone's time to read? I wasn't sure what to think.

While I was mulling that over, I read a short e-book about becoming a writer. The book had a cute story about an aspiring writer and a homework assignment at the end of each chapter. One of the assignments was to find and join a community of writers. I didn't realize this at first, but there are communities of bloggers out there who read each other's work, provide feedback and generally support one another along the journey. At first, I couldn't really see the point of something, but because I don't spend enough time on Facebook as it is, I joined several Facebook blogger groups. It only took a few days for me to realize that one in particular, Bloggers United, was full of active, encouraging aspiring writers.

From here I learned about the 30 Day Challenge. The idea is that you write in your blog EVERY DAY for 30 consecutive days. Apparently doing this helps you not only strengthen your discipline, but it can help you focus as a writer and figure out what topics are the best fit for you as well as what your followers enjoy reading the most.

To be honest, this seemed a little bit easier than creating a cast of characters and an engaging book plot. I can think of several different topics I'd like to blog about already. Today, I decided to ask the Bloggers United community if anyone would like to take the challenge with me, since accountability seems important. Thirty people have already responded and would like to join me! My sister has also agreed to try and write every day in November. I am happy that I will have support on the journey!

So rather than writing a mediocre novel in November, I will be blogging every day! I am excited by the challenge. I hope you enjoy taking the journey with me.  If you have any topics you think would be fun to write about, please share at any time!

A mostly white calendar means plenty of time for writing!