In which I struggle to use photo editing software

Fun fact: When I was a teenager, I had my own website.

 It was called Sliced Bread and it showcased what I thought to be the greatest things since sliced bread. I kept it running on Homestead site builder for several years. At first, it was free. I actually remember signing up to be a part of the company launch and getting an email telling me it was time. Time for me to create my own website. It was (and still is, from a brief look at the current site) a way for an average joe to use templates and such rather than html to create a nice looking website. After an enjoyable period of free website maintenance, it became $40 for a year of hosting. Then it jumped it over $100 per year. I shut it down about a year after that.

Along with listing the greatest things since sliced bread, I kept a list of funny and inspiring quotes and uploaded WinZipped copies of digital Dogz, Catz and Babyz files to share. I also shared my poetry and scanned copies of my artwork with the world. It was a lot of fun for something that had very little point.

Frames and buttons were a big deal at that time, but I couldn't figure out how to make frames for my site, so I saved a blank copy of a page with a sidebar and clickable buttons and used that as the basis for each page on the site. I created my own graphics using a free trial of Jasc Paint Shop Pro that I illegally continued using beyond the 30-day-trial by changing the date using my computer's internal calendar. Yep, I was a little crook.

Regardless, I had a blast creating a purple starry theme for my website. I wish I still had the images and even the text of the site (including the official List!) to share with you. I believe it has been lost in a computer crash since then. It was a beautiful showcase of what a nerdy young teen with a lot of free time can create.

Today, I received an early Christmas present from my beautiful husband. It is my very own, completely legal and fully paid for copy of PaintShop Pro! My 13-year-old self is squealing with joy. I have always wanted my very own photo editing software and now that I'm blogging, I'm hoping I can use it to make some really cool images.

I've been messing with it for a few hours now and it turns out, I have a LOT to learn. There are so many options. Nothing I have made so far looks good. Essentially, I have no idea what I am doing. Yaaaay. But I will not give up! I will simply tap into my inner 13-year-old and together, we will create some mediocre images. Perhaps, with time, we'll even learn to create something decent.

I predict a beautiful mess is on its way. Get excited!

It's true.

I was just playing around...but I think I will actually write this. 

This post is part of the 30 Day Challenge.

You can be good at some things and you can not be good at some things.

There are times when I look at my 4-year-old daughter and wonder what is going through her head.

Sometimes, when upset or confused by something she has done, I ask, "What were you thinking?"

I decided to get some perspective by interviewing her. I think I should make a habit of this. I'll include my 7-year-old too. Maybe I'll have her write her own post sometime.

She is a morning person, I am not. She wakes me up with her friends :)

Tell me about yourself.

Well, I really like screen time and I'm always hungry and thirsty.

What do you do?

Well, I love to go to Park Day. Also, my name is Lydia. In case you put it on Facebook, people might not know my name.

What are you looking forward to?

Getting more allowance.

What are your strengths? (I had to explain that this meant things she is good at)

I'm good at doing somersaults. I'm also good at going potty.

What are your weaknesses?

I'm not good at doing a cartwheel. I can only do it like this. Miss Molly taught me. (demonstrates an attempted cartwheel).

What do you love?

I love bird cats. Fairy mermaid magic princesses.

What scares you?

Tarantulas.

What do you want to be when you grow up?

I'm going to be an artist painter. Are those the same thing?

Who do you think should be president?

Whoever the president is. I've never met the president. I think Mommy should make all the rules.

What makes a good leader?

Mommy makes a good leader of the Homeschooling School. She tells everyone to do the right things.

What is the most important thing?

I think God and Jesus because they're the most powerfullest.

Where do you want to be?

In the jungle with my family.

Why do people get married?

Because then they have children and can be together.

Why do people have kids?

Because they just have kids when they get married.

When should people get married and have kids?

Whenever it's morning because then everyone's awake and comes to the wedding day.

What's it like to be 4?

You can be good at some things and you can not be good at some things.

What is Dad's job?

To be at work.

What is Mom's job?

To be a writer.

I was surprised with how she answered that last one. I thought she would say that my job is to take care of her, or be the teacher, or something. It makes me feel warm that she thinks my job is to be a writer. I wouldn't want to let her down. I will continue. 

This post is part of the 30 Day Challenge.

Beginnings

I've loved writing since I learned how. Truly, I do. But I struggle with finishing anything.

When I was in first grade, my parents abandoned me and my brother with my grandparents and went to San Francisco for four days. The souvenir they brought back for me was a diary. This diary, to be exact. They got it in China town.

See those rings on the side? My dad attached them so I could lock my diary. 

At the time, I didn't know how to write well enough to do so on my own. I dictated my journal entries to my parents and they patiently copied them down for me. By the time I reached second grade, my fine motor skills were decent enough that I could write my own journal entries. I've been doing it ever since.

I have stacks of journals and notebooks that chronicle my childhood years, teen drama, college years, faith journey and parenthood. I've kept a journal for my cousin, my children, and with my husband. Journaling is the only kind of writing I can do decently.

As a kid, I had tons of ideas for stories. I probably have at least 40 excellent first pages and a slew of creative characters. Unfortunately none of them are connected. I can never finish anything. I'm not good at developing the story past a mere idea. I don't know how to make characters that are dynamic. Getting started is no problem. But finishing? Not so much.

That's why journaling is a good fit for me. I write until I'm done and that's all there is to it. There are no page requirements. I don't have to finish the story. I can write about whatever I want.

About two years ago, I started a blog. I wrote a lot about God and my faith journey because that was the most important thing to me. Then I started writing about other things going on in my life. Then I started writing about homeschooling.

I realized that writing is good for me. I want to keep a blog as a creative outlet and a place to mull things over and vent my feelings. But I can't fit myself into the box of just writing about homeschooling or just writing about my faith. I have to be free to write about whatever it is that I need to write about. Writing helps me process things and sharing my writing brings clarity and the insight of others into the equation.

So that's what I am going to do.

Some days, I might write about what I'm doing with my kids. Other days, it might be about cake or my iron levels or TV shows or books or stupid stupid allergies. Hopefully my writing will be interesting to you. Maybe even beneficial in some way. I'd love it if I could make you laugh or think about something in a different light.

Honestly, I'm just trying to make my way in this world and doing the best I can as I go along. Writing about the journey should be fun. I guess we will see where I end up.