Where I'm Going From Here

Well, it has been over six months since I last updated this blog and I have suddenly been struck with some writing inspiration for two different projects: my NaNoWriMo story and a blog series. I thought writing about them might help me figure out where to go from here. I've been struggling with what to write here, so I think I'll play it safe and write about writing.


My NaNoWriMo Story

I wouldn't call this collection of over 50,000 words a book. Not yet, anyway. I read it last week (for the first time!) and I'd say that I have 118 pages of ideas, characters and conversation that need a little something more to tie them together. There were parts that made me laugh with myself and parts that made me laugh AT myself. I'd been avoiding reading it because I thought it was all garbage, but I was surprised to find that there are some good, promising sections in there.

One thing that was certain was that the story really needs to be narrowed down in focus. It was very apparent that I was still finding my voice and trying things out all the way to the last page. Which is fine, honestly! That's part of the process. For a long time though, I felt like I was done with that particular story and that I didn't want to put in the work necessary to make it something better.

But now I'm starting to feel differently.

After I finished the last page, I had a desire to keep working on it. I've always felt unsettled about how I left it and unsure of how to tie things up. It had a bleak ending with no real message, at least not a positive one. And that's not how I roll, you may have noticed. I'm pretty dang optimistic. So as I sat there trying to figure out what to do with it, I realized that it is not over yet. I realized that I can't leave my characters stuck in the troubling situations I put them in.

So I'm not done with them yet. In fact, I think I may only be halfway through telling their story. And I think some people I felt were main characters need to take a few steps back while some of the background and "filler" characters, per se, need to have the light shined on them a little more.

Lucky for me, my dear friend Clare, who was with me every step of the way on my initial NaNoWriMo journey and who I had the pleasure of meeting face to face in June, sent me this great gift that I think will help me figure out where to go next.

With this book in hand, I'm going to see if I can't figure out where Taylor and Maddie (my two main characters) end up next. I'll let you know how it goes :)


A Blog Series

A while back, I did a blog series called Faces of Homeschooling. I wanted to know what life was like for other homeschooling families and I thought it would be fun to share these little "interviews" with the 3 people who read my blog. I had a lot of fun with it. Now I want to sort of take that idea and expand on it.

I am fascinated by people and what they do. Not just what job or career they have, but what the inner workings of their days look like, how they spend their time, how they got to where they are, and where they would like to go next. I would love to interview people and share what they do with others.

In fact, while brainstorming this topic, a book I used to read my girls popped into my head. The story was about a cow who is tired of living on the farm and looking for a new place to belong. She runs into many animals along her journey and asks them, "Who are you and what do you do?" as she tries to discern where she will fit in best. I feel like I am at a point where I personally have an idea of how to answer those and that makes me all the more curious how others would respond.

What experiences have shaped you, how do you spend your days, where are you headed?

Those questions will be the inspiration behind this new blog series when I get it rolling. I think an interview format is best and I can see this being suitable for video rather than text. I would love to talk to a wide variety of people, representing different ages and experiences. I think talking to different people and sharing what their lives are like can create an opportunity for empathy and understanding.

If this sound like something you (or someone you know) would like to be a part of, please leave a comment. Everyone out there has something to share. On the flip side, if you have a burning question for people in general, please share it with me. I have some ideas but I'd like to cast the net wide.


A New Name

Finally, I am wondering if it might be time to rename this space. Too long, didn't write was a name I chose because I've historically had trouble finishing things that I start. But in November, I wrote 50,000 words of a story. And I have thousands more to go. So that would fit under my old heading of Too long, DID write. Anyway, a rebrand seems right.  I'll be brainstorming where to take this. Let me know if you have any thoughts.

Update

Hello my friends!

I just wanted to give you a little update on what's going on with me these days.

First off, I wanted to let you know that I am trying to remove myself from Facebook as much as possible. It's become mostly a negative in my life insomuch that it wastes a lot of my time and sometimes the stuff people post makes me judge them in ways I don't like.

I'm going to keep using Messenger and keep my Facebook linked to my Instagram, and I'll probably get on there as needed to ask for suggestions and coordinate stuff, but I am trying to cut the newsfeed out of my life almost entirely. That being said, if you need anything or there is something you need me to see, you can always send me a message or tag me on something or write on my wall and I'll get an email about it.

In the week since I've cut back, I've noticed myself using the time I would have spent scrolling aimlessly for different things. I've been reading a lot more news articles and I've been messaging with friends directly. I like this. I appreciate knowing more about what's going on in the world and having more time to spend talking with the people I care about and developing those relationships instead of randomly pressing like on 432908 different things without actually communicating much of anything. Life feels a lot quieter somehow and I like that.

The second item of note is that I have decided to stop doing monthly goals posts on here, at least for now. I'm trying to focus on creating habits rather than checking things off of a list. I mean, I've still got about five or six handwritten lists going at any time, but those are more short term goals and tasks that need to be completed. Instead of creating random goals for writing or exercise, for example, I'm creating time each day or each week for these habits to form. I do well with routines so I feel good about this change.

Anyway, I just wanted to take a minute to update. I'm trying to be the best version of myself and I hope these changes are helpful! As always, feel free to leave a comment here or shoot me a message if you'd like to chat :)

Lots of Thoughts

It is January 2nd, 2017, and I have a lot of thoughts running around in my head that need out. I've tried writing these things out in an organized fashion but it is not working. I've decided just to spew them all out at once.

It's a brain dump!

~~~

I am SO glad I'm not throwing up any more. Yesterday was possibly the longest day of my life. I think I felt every single minute of the day. The 3 hour car ride was definitely the longest car ride I've ever been on. Thank the Lord for the wonderful Emergency Room with its kind nurses and bags of fluids and free pants and anti-nausea medications. So, so grateful.

I have been wanting to write a post about NaNoWriMo but I haven't been able to get it just the way I want it. I have several drafts just about NaNo, which is crazy. I don't know if I'll ever get one finished. In short, I LOVED NaNo and I think I'll continue giving it a try each year. What a wonderful experience. And no, you can't read my book yet. I still haven't read it. I'm a little afraid to.

One thing I learned about writing this year is that it doesn't have to be for a purpose. Writing for the sake of the writing process is a completely valid hobby. Writing needs to be practiced just like other hobbies and abilities. Writing can become a habit, as it did for me during the month of November. I love writing, so very much, and I hope to continue growing as a writer simply by writing more. Will I ever have a book published? Maybe. Maybe not. I need to keep working at it.

I am so, so grateful that we moved into this house. I am so glad we found it. I am so glad that all of our other offers were rejected. This house is just what we need right now and I am looking forward to loving it and living in it and making it ours as the year(s) continue. Hopefully we can figure out how to do that without exceeding our budget.

2017 sounds kind of futuristic to me. Tim will be 30 this year. I'll be 31. That's how old my parents were when I was born. The kids will be 6 and 9 by the year's end. That sounds crazy!

I love being 30. Something about turning 30 has given me the confidence to be who I am with less fear about what others think about it. It's great and powerful. I am great and powerful.

I have wonderful people in my life. I am grateful for friends who do puzzles with me and send me random pictures of cats and babies and their faces throughout the day. God bless Snapchat. I love you, friends. I love that I can have hour long phone chats with my sister. I'm grateful for all the people who listen and laugh and love me and play games with me and stay up late talking to me. It takes a village to raise an adult too, y'know.

I love our church and our Life Group especially. I didn't realize I needed to see all your faces every Wednesday night, but I do.

I have had four giant bottles of Powerade today and I finally cut myself off and switched to water. Rehydration, people. It's a serious matter. I ate a bowl of chicken soup for dinner and longingly looked at Lydia's pizza while she longingly looked at my soup. I think Lexi would be jealous of how many Saltines I ate today. I can't wait to eat more food tomorrow.

Life is all about ups and downs. Ups and downs. I mention them in just about every reflective piece of writing I create, and I finally GET it. THERE WILL ALWAYS BE UPS AND DOWNS! Downs suck, but they make ups more beautiful. Ups are great, but you wouldn't appreciate them without the downs. I am a very optimistic and positive person and I have grown through the ups and downs that 2016 brought my way.

The beginning of the year 2016 was kind of hard. There were some challenges There were some really hard moments where I wondered if I would make it through, and how I would make it through. There were some scary times that haunted me. I watched a LOT of TV.  Like, a LOT. It was kind of my way of dealing with hard things. My brain attempted to sabotage me, but I got the better of it. HA! I'm forever grateful for my amazing therapist who pointed me toward the medical professional I needed to get things sorted out. Brain health needs to be talked about without stigma. The brain is an organ that needs care just like like all the other organs in the body. My brain requires some medication to work properly, and that is OK. I feel so much better now than I did a year ago.

The middle of the year was characterized by transition. Changes. The end of the year was good and busy and full of people and love. I got into the habit of writing regularly and now I struggle to stay current on my TV. Yeah, Trump got elected, but I think we will be OK. At least we know SNL will have a lot of material to work with, huh? Gotta look on the bright side. Gotta keep fighting.

Kate McKinnon and John Oliver crack me up. New Girl and Brooklyn 99 are my favorite shows. I'm not current on This Is Us, but I'm loving it. Thank you, entertaining people, for entertaining me.

I have a gym membership and I know how to use it.

I'm really enjoying teaching again.

I love Spotify. When my 3 months of Premium end, I am going to be really disappointed. 90s music makes me so happy.

We are going to get that hole in the kitchen floor taken care of, folks. Sooner rather than later.

I put up multi-colored Christmas lights in my puzzle room and I am excited about it. Christmas lights make me happy and I don't care if they are tacky, Tim. Love you.

I am apparently in a very grateful and positive mood. I guess feeling better after feeling bad will do that to you.

2016 is over and done, 2017 is fresh and new and full of possibility. I mean, starting off the year violently ill was not how I pictured it, but that violent illness has already made me appreciate being able to keep liquids down, something I take for granted daily.

Ups and downs, my friends. Ups and downs.

November and December Goals

November Goals Analysis

November was a busy busy month and I am glad I did not try to accomplish too much outside of these few goals. The month truly flew by. I think December will be another light month for goals as there is already so much going on. 

Have a super awesome time in the Dominican Republic - Well this wasn't hard! I got to go with two lovely fun ladies and stay in an incredible resort where food and drink were always available and I got daily naps. It was the best. I have never been on a trip with friends or stayed in such a nice place and I am so grateful for the opportunity to do something special. 

Celebrate Lexi's birthday - Check. With everything that was going on, we celebrated early and it was fun. This was also the first year I did not make the cake myself and it was kind of a relief even though it was expensive to buy one. I can't believe she is 8! I was traveling on her actual birthday but Tim and her grandparents made it special for her :)

Welcome a nephew into the family - Check! I have the sweetest little nephew, Gryffin. In a family full of girls, it will be exciting to see what this little boy is all about. 

Plan out the rest of 2016's science lessons for Legacy - Check! Turns out we didn't have many days of actual class left. I'm getting a head start on next semester's planning as well. 

Assess reading and math skills - Check. Doing well in both areas. Assessing helped me discover a few areas that we needed to revisit, which was helpful too. 

WRITE A 50,000 WORD NOVEL! - Freaking check, man! This deserves a separate post so I'm working on that. 

Do cool stuff with cool people - What kind of goal is this? Not very quantifiable, geez. I had a blast on my trip as I mentioned and enjoyed Thanksgiving with our families. But I don't know if I actually did enough cool stuff with enough cool people...where does one draw the limit?

Make something for Thanksgiving that isn't a salad - OK to be fair, I was told to bring appetizers and games and I brought those, plus some champagne. But all I "made" was a trip to Target, so....

Continue with weights twice weekly - I did well until my trip. Then I came home to Thanksgiving and other busy situations and I have not been back :(

Attempt to incorporate cardio with some regularity - See above.

Brainstorm what to do next with the YouTube channel - Yeah, nope. Which means there probably should not BE a YouTube channel, but there is just something fun about it. For me. And Laura. Probably not for anyone who watches. I think this definitely needs to go back to the drawing board. Or maybe just straight into the garbage can. Who knows.

December Goals

House

Continue brainstorming what to do with the kitchen/fireplace room, as we call it
Agree upon a name for that room

Personal

Incorporate some phone-free quiet time into each day
Slowly reincorporate journaling into my life

Family

Drive around and look at Christmas lights together

Wellness

PUT DOWN THE COOKIES AND GO BACK TO THE GYM! (Maybe tough love is the right approach?)
Actually practice karate outside of class and be prepared for testing day

Social

Host a gathering of some sort

School

Ask the kids for ideas on what they'd like to learn about in Science and Social Studies
Take some time to do traditional Christmas/Winter activities
Research and consider adding an extracurricular activity for the kids

Creative

Work on and possibly finish a short story I've been putting off for a while
Read the story I wrote last month and try not to cry when it's garbage
Develop a rough outline for said story 

October & November Goals

October Goals Analysis

  Hey, so we're 1/3 of the way through the month and I decided it was probably time to go over my monthly goals. October felt really busy but I didn't do a great job with my goals. I'm glad I've at least continued assessing my goals regularly. That feels good! Cutting straight to the chase.

Spend some time in Lawrence at the Pumpkin Patch - Check. We had a fun day in Lawrence. I might want to get back to living there someday. I even managed to lose my wedding ring there.

Try out my Dad's gym - Check. I even resisted free pizza night.

Consider getting a membership and starting a weight routine - I now have a membership and I've been shooting for weights twice weekly. Going to add in some cardio as time permits. I'm enjoying it, especially now that I know the WiFi password ;)

Get together with friends every week in some form - Yup. This is so nice. I love you, friends!

Finish the next writing unit - Check. It was like pulling teeth in some ways, but we got those suckers done.

Get caught back up with planning - Pretty much. 

Publish at least two more episodes of That's Puzzling (the first episode is here if you haven't had the pleasure of watching it) - Yep. I think a total of 2 people have watched them, so that's good. 

Have someone come out and look at our kitchen - So he came and looked but that's as far as we've gotten. We have a semblance of a plan but haven't executed it yet. 

Finish a story - I didn't finish a story but I made headway in one story. 

Finish at least two chapters of Alexander Hamilton - I finished one chapter and started another. This book is fascinating but it's hard. Lots of words, haha, and it's not so much a bedtime story as it is a history book. 

Pick out a new sink - Nope. But MAN do I want one! With a sprayer. 

Pick up and unpack more boxes - Didn't even go through the boxes I picked up. I suck. 

Get into a morning routine for writing and Bible reading - Nope.

Have Book Club? - Nope. I haven't even tried to read the book. Sorry, friends!

~~~~~

November's goals are short and sweet, mostly because one of them is to WRITE A FREAKING BOOK. So I'll be pleased if I can just get that one crossed off.

November Goals 

House

Sorry house, I'm not making any promises this month

Personal

Have a super awesome time in the Dominican Republic!!!

Family

Celebrate Lexi's birthday
Welcome a nephew into the family (I have zero control over this, it's all you Lindsey! Very excited.)
Make something for Thanksgiving that isn't a salad

Wellness

Continue with weights twice weekly
Attempt to incorporate cardio with some regularity

Social

Do cool stuff with cool people

School

Plan out the rest of 2016's science lessons for Legacy
Assess reading and math skills

Creative

WRITE A 50,000 WORD NOVEL!
Brainstorm what to do next with the YouTube channel

My Stupid Mouth

I have a giant book of CDs. Inside it are basically all of the CDs I've owned over the course of my life, excluding those that are crammed in the storage console of my old car. When I'm driving, I always have music going. I flip through all of the radio stations I have programmed and if there is nothing satisfactory playing, I'll switch to a CD. The girls and I have been listening to Taylor Swift excessively so I decided to dig through my giant CD book and add a few new ones to the smaller CD book I keep in the car. 

While flipping through, I found gems such as the soundtrack to the 1989 Ghostbusters II movie, Ace of Base's Cruel Summer, as well as burned copies of Jewel's Pieces of You and Survivor by Destiny's Child. I grabbed these and a few more, including John Mayer's Room for Squares, which I have zero recollection of purchasing. 

I popped in the John Mayer CD while grocery shopping and was delighted when the third track, My Stupid Mouth, began playing. I had completely forgotten about this super relatable song. 

Take a listen and see if it speaks to you. 

The next time I had the kids in the car, I played it for them, telling Lexi, my 7-year-old, that I could really relate to it because I have a tendency to say dumb things. The song got to the part where John sings, "I'm never speaking up again, starting now," and Lexi said to me, "Mom, you're supposed to stand up for what you believe in. Even if people don't like it."

Whoa.

Wisdom dropped from the mouth of a child. I love that she knows it is important to stand up for what you believe in. She's right, of course. I'll have to teach her the fine art of knowing when to speak up because it's important and worth it and when to keep quiet because the context is wrong. I'm still learning to walk that line myself.

I find that I tend to oscillate between bravely speaking my mind and keeping my mouth shut for fear of being rejected or offending someone. It can be hard to know what to say and when to say it. I am lucky enough to have some friends that I can be 100% real with, without fear, and I think that's what keeps me going. So thanks, you guys.

There's a line in the song that pops into my head from time to time.

"One more thing

Why is it my fault?
So maybe I try too hard
But it's all because of this desire
I just want to be liked
I just want to be funny
Looks like the joke's on me
So call me captain backfire"

I do want to be liked. I do hope to be funny. I am me.

I'll probably spend the rest of my life adjusting and readjusting the filter between my brain and my mouth in order to find that perfect balance between standing up for what I believe in and making a fool of myself.

That's just who I am.

I won't apologize for that. 

The Wall - Video Blog

When we moved into our new house, we immediately had a half wall removed. Now I need help figuring out what to do with the space. I decided to try a video blog so I could show you the space without having to take and upload a bunch of pictures. Let me know what you think!

September & October Goals

September Goals Update

September was kind of a weird month, in my opinion. It was blazing hot for the most part, which I didn't love. The good news is that my allergies were under control and I was able to be outside without feeling like death. It was a busy month of getting back into routines, which was nice. I feel like I accomplished quite a bit, but there's still a lot to do, particularly where the house is concerned. But maybe there will always be updates to make. We shall see.

 I did not miss our old house at all, despite the fact that it entered my dreams a few times. I love it here! I got a new haircut that has made me feel sassy and adventurous so get ready for that. My friend and I started a YouTube channel called That's Puzzling, and I'm pretty sure I will make millions being a YouTube personality some day. Please fill me in on the puzzling issues in your life so I can talk about them on the internet like a regular friend would do. 

 Anyway, here's how I did with my goals this month. 

Start setting up my basement mom cave - I've got a couple of tables and puzzles going down there. I need to decorate a little and maybe get some chairs that can live down there. 

Clear boxes and junk from main floor - Check

Arrange new and old furniture - The main floor is looking better

Go to Spinach Festival together - The kids and I went with my parents. It was fun.

Have a movie or game night/Schedule and host some kind of get together - Had a puzzle night with friends a couple times and had my brother over for dinner and games

Attempt another date night - We had lunch and saw Mastermind. It was pretty dang dumb. 

Continue karate and volleyball - Check. We won a game, shockingly. 

Walk every week - Check. It was soooo hot early in the month but now that it's cooler I'm getting out there more. 

Go see Masterminds - Check. Like I said, dumb. Which is unfortunate because it had a great cast. 

Practice handwriting with Lydia more regularly - Check. 

Continue writing regularly, in whatever form inspires me - Check. 

Create a space for journaling and/or Bible study - I got some bar height chairs and made a space. Just need to better utilize it. I also have a decorating idea. 
Work back up to a full schedule of subjects - We're nearly there. 

Pick up the rest of our boxes from Mark and Kathy's garage and go through them - I picked up a van load. Most of it is in the garage or spread all over Lydia's room. Blarf. 
Return all the stuff I bought that I don't want (it's a real struggle) - I returned a lot of stuff. Got a couple of tension rods floating around...
Get a grip on the new budget - Still have yet to have a normal month of expenses and pay, so I'm waiting to see what that's going to look like. 

Read two books - So I made the call to buy the book Alexander Hamilton, an 800+ page biography of the guy. It's fascinating but it's not quick reading. So it's going to take me a while. Also working on a book a friend wrote. 

October Goals 

House

Have someone come out and look at our kitchen

Pick out a new sink

Pick up and unpack more boxes 

Personal

Finish at least two chapters of Alexander Hamilton

Get into a morning routine for writing and Bible reading

Family

Spend some time in Lawrence at the Pumpkin Patch

Wellness

Try out my Dad's gym

Consider getting a membership and starting a weight routine

Social

Get together with friends every week in some form

Have Book Club?

School

Finish the next writing unit

Get caught back up with planning

Creative

Finish a story

Publish at least two more episodes of That's Puzzling (the first episode is here if you haven't had the pleasure of watching it)

Understanding and Calmversations

It's the 15th anniversary of 9/11. I was a freshman in high school, in math class, when I got the news about what had happened. Later in seminar, we watched the footage. The rest of the day, the teachers tried to keep everything as close to normal as possible. I remember a friend calling me that night, saying that gas prices were up to $5 per gallon. I remember writing a poem about the events of the day, my teenage attempt to make sense of unspeakable acts. I wish I knew where it was.

Today in church, our pastor talked about politics. He shared an excerpt from an article where the person was saying how we Americans were very united after 9/11, but then slowly went back to our normal selves, divided over different issues.

During this political season, it is easy to judge others. I am guilty of reading Facebook posts or seeing what my friends like or discuss and judging beliefs that don't align with mine. I attempt to keep my political beliefs to myself, unless I am with friends who I know agree with my views. I don't want to fight with anyone or be judged or have to explain myself. Sometimes I feel like we will never see eye to eye. Sometimes I worry that people won't like me if they know the truth about what I believe. 

A few weeks ago, I had the pleasure of talking politics with a friend who believes differently than I do. It was eye-opening. We not only explained our beliefs, but we explained the life circumstances that led us to feel the way that we do. I gained SO much insight and perspective from this simple conversation. I learned so much about my friend and about how someone could feel so differently than me on some things, but still be a person that I really enjoy and relate to. 

I wish we were able to have more conversations like these. Calmversations. Discussions where we seek to understand each other. 

Today, on this day of remembering how we as a nation have been unified through tragedy, I implore you. Take the time to talk to someone whose beliefs are different from yours. Learn about the life experiences that led them to believe the way they do. Share the experiences you had that led you to your beliefs. Seek to understand rather than judge. Remember to love. Have a calmversation. 

I invite your questions about my beliefs and experiences. I am open to calmversations involving politics and other taboo topics, for the sake of growth and understanding. 

Let us love one another. Let us be unified. 

August and September Goals

SEPTEMBER IS HERE!!!!

I don't usually enjoy September, but I am excited about it. I'm excited because that my shows are coming back!  I missed them very much. School is back, activities are returning, the weather is cooling off. I like fall. Not winter though, winter can suck it. 

Plus, September means that we're on the other side of the move and that is great. All went pretty darn well. I'm exhausted and I don't know if it's just the last couple of months catching up with me or what. I've started my iron again and life is settling down so hopefully I'll be back to normal soon. Allergy season is upon me but I've kept it under control so far. Hoping that continues!

I did well in August, it was a crazy busy productive month of change and chaos, but I stayed on top of most things. Here's how I did with my goals:

PACK - Got it done! We have too much stuff. 

CLOSE - Probably the easiest of the bunch. Show up, sign things, get keys. 

MOVE! - Check. We paid movers and it was expensive but worth it, honestly. 

Get an estimate for patio repairs - Got one. Looking for a couple other bids. We may wait til next spring to tackle this. 

Get an estimate for kitchen updates - We're going in another direction with the kitchen and I'm excited about it.

Furnish at least one living space - Yep, figured out where the living room will be. New furniture arrives this week!

Finish reading Lean In - Finished it, along with several other books: reread Night by Elie Wiesel, which was...wow. Also picked up It Gets Worse by Shane Dawson while waiting for an oil change at Walmart. It was hysterical. I'll be reading his other book whenever the library gets it to me. 

Schedule a date with Tim - We ended up having three dates somehow. It was fun! We should make it a habit. We saw a movie, went out to eat, packed up our house without the input of children, and just enjoyed uninterrupted conversation and TV time.  

Scope out some places to walk near my new home - I went on a long walk last night. There are lots of shady flat places to walk, which is awesome. 
Volleyball and karate on Mondays - Having fun with this! Wish they were on different days ;)

Schedule a karaoke night with friends - It's on the calendar, looking forward to it!

Finish a short story - I really nailed this one, finished five stories of varying length and quality. My latest was the best, which means perhaps I am learning as I go! 

Determine a space for school in our new house - Setting up a room upstairs, although I'm sure we'll spill over into the rest of the house too. We have a lovely, huge room to hide all the school stuff and books in, which is great. 

Get the first month of Legacy planned and gather supplies - Got the plans made, just need to gather the supplies and see how it plays out with the different age groups.  Still brain storming how we're going to keep plants alive for study :)

Blog at least twice - I technically had three posts in August, but one was the monthly goals post and the other was posted before I set the goal of blogging...so yeah...kinda lame. I have been in creative writing mode rather than my usual. 
Try out a couple of different routines to see what works best - I don't really know what I meant by this, but I think school goes best when we start with science or social studies then split up for reading and whatever else. We'll slowly be adding all our other subjects back in and getting used to have other activities to go to again as well.  

Try to incorporate journaling regularly, if not daily - I did not do a good job of journaling this month. I hope to create a space for this and Bible study that will get me into the routine. I'm looking at the bar in the kitchen. 

35 Thoughts on Moving

We've been in our new house since last Tuesday and I am loving it! Moving is a huge pain, but I did end up getting over 22,000 steps on moving day, so that's something to celebrate I suppose. We're still getting things organized and figuring out how to arrange the rooms, but I feel like we've made a lot of progress. I love having more space. I haven't had to clean it yet so we will see if that feeling holds. I think we are going to be happy here for a long time to come. 

I haven't been blogging as much but I have been working on some short stories (actually managed to finish one, which is something I struggle with!) but I wanted to take the opportunity to record my feelings about moving. No pictures this time but I think I'll take some good ones once things are a little more settled. 

For now, here are some random thoughts I've had since moving...

1. It is nice to not be able to hear every word everyone says from any location in the house.
2. I don't have easy access to a Super Walmart or neighborhood market anymore.
3. I need more bathroom stuff.
4. There are somehow fewer cabinets than we had before.
5. Walking into a closet is cool!
6. There are many more places to hide from the children than before.
7. I should have purged a LOT more stuff before packing it up...
8. I use the computer a lot more now that it's on the main level.
9. The basement is virtually empty because we don't have enough stuff to fill it.
10. Paying movers was expensive but totally worth it.
11. I really miss my old (new) dishwasher. Might need another new one.
12. What if we traded in two crappy fridges for one good one?
13. This location makes it a lot quicker to get to church!
14. I thought I might cry when we left but I definitely did not.
15. I do miss having my own bathroom. Now I have to share with Tim...
16. This microwave is a different wattage from the old one and that makes a difference.
17. With all these neighbors how is it that there's only one kid close by?!
18. It seems that the patio is going to be a bigger pain to fix than we originally thought.
19. Music makes everything better. I tip my hat to YouTube and Spotify.
20. I have a puzzle going and it is not interrupting dinner!!!
21. I hope we live here for a long long time.
22. I learned more about our highway system yesterday than I have in my entire life combined.
23. I think it's going to be much easier and faster to get to work now.
24. Except for Tim, it'll take him much longer.
25. Furniture is expensive.
26. I have no idea where to put the homeschooling stuff and I can see myself moving it a lot.
27. I wish I had more money to make the place perfect!
28. Hiccup is completely insane. (OK, that's not related to moving but it is definitely true)
29. There is carpet under the table and that makes me uncomfortable. 
30. More ceiling fans would be cool! Haha.
31. I find myself shopping at the same stores as before despite the fact that they are far away now.
32. There are tons of boxes in my in-laws' garage and I do not want to deal with them.
33. It's amazing to think that the idea of moving popped into our heads on Mother's Day and here we are, in a new house!
34. I definitely feel my life coming full circle as I'm now down the street from my elementary school and my high school workplace. I'm not fancy enough to actually live at Lakeview but it would be interesting if I ended up there somehow. 
35. More space means more places to stow junk that should be confronted and dealt with. 

July and August Goals

July Goals Review

I'm not late on this post because I've been busy, I'm late on this post because I've been trying to decide if it is worth it to have any goals for August besides move into a new house while maintaining some semblance of sanity. I decided to go ahead and make a list, because I've done well keeping up with these monthly goals and I don't want to skip a month and lose momentum. We'll see how it goes!

Read a book - I read 3! The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society, The Dinner, and The Life Changing Magic of not Giving a _____. The first was an amazing story that I really enjoyed, second was kind of mediocre, but third was an absolute life changer. I highly recommend you check it out, unless you're easily offended by foul language. You've been warned. 

See the new Ghostbusters movie - May or may not have seen it more than once. Loved it! Highly recommend. This movie is important for women. I'd love to lecture you about it if given the opportunity ;)

Make Lydia's birthday special - The kid got to celebrate three different times. She had a blast turning 5!

Coffee and/or dinner with friends - Check, more than once. 

Celebrate my 30th birthday - Check. I got three glorious days and nights kid-free and got to celebrate with some people I love!

Figure out a curriculum for Legacy for the fall - Check. 

Find a great house and buy it!!! - Check! We close in a couple of weeks! Can't wait.

Get back into some kind of routine - We started up a bit of school again, I think we all needed some sort of structure. We're easing into it, just a couple of subjects going currently. 

Blog weekly - I didn't post a blog entry each week, but I worked on some posts for several days, I wrote every single week, did a lot of journaling, and finished a short story. 

Do an additional purge - Aside from throwing away a lot of stuff from Lydia's room and getting rid of a lot of my clothes, I still have purging to do. 

Do some art projects - Yeah, not so much. I mean I painted something, but not with the kids. 

~~~~

August Goals

House

PACK

CLOSE

MOVE!

Get an estimate for patio repairs

Get an estimate for kitchen updates

Furnish at least one living space

Personal

Finish reading Lean In

Family

Schedule a date with Tim

Wellness

Scope out some places to walk near my new home
Volleyball and karate on Mondays!

Social

Schedule a karaoke night with friends

School

Get the first month of Legacy planned and gather supplies

Determine a space for school in our new house

Try out a couple of different routines to see what works best

Writing

Blog at least twice

Finish a short story

Try to incorporate journaling regularly, if not daily

Two weeks until moving day! We'll see what I manage to accomplish this month :) I don't think I'm going to feel too guilty if I don't get much more than moving done in August. There's always September. 

Thoughts about 30

I've been 30 for a week now, and that's a little weird for me. I think it will sink in with time. You know how it feels the first time after a birthday, when someone (usually a stranger or professional of some sort) asks how old you are and you tell them your new age, but feel kind of like you're lying? Yeah, that's kind of where I am right now. I think some people refer to this as "denial".

I've been in a very reflective mood lately. I've felt the need to examine and evaluate the different areas of my life. The past ten years of my life were busy and tumultuous. I know the next ten will probably be the same story with different details. At this point of transition between my 20s and 30s, I decided to take the time to reflect upon some revelations I've had and how I see them affecting my journey forward.


1. I appreciate coffee and wine now. I entered my 20s with an upturned nose toward both. Coffee? Ew. Wine? Why? My appreciation for coffee began when Lydia was a baby and my dear friend delivered Starbucks to my doorstep one day. Coffee is a magical substance that decreases my hatred for mornings (and humans) and I can't imagine life without it now. If coffee and I are married, wine and I are casually dating, sometimes seeing other people. We're still feeling each other out, trying to see where the relationship is going. So far I've learned that one glass of wine results in the loss of filters as well as lots of giggling. After a particularly long day, it can be a great way to unwind. 

2. I am me. At age 20, I was working at Lakeview Village, going to class at JCCC and hanging out with my new boyfriend Tim. Now I've got two degrees, a part time job, two kids, and eight years of marriage to said boyfriend under my belt. Basically, I've spent the past ten years developing. As a student, wife, parent, friend, woman, and American. My experiences have shaped me into the person that I am today. I know what's important to me and I'm figuring out that I don't need to apologize for it.  I'm learning that it's fine if I think differently than the people I care about and that rather than trying to stuff down parts of who I am that may seem off-color, I should embrace them and even celebrate them.

I'm a nerd. 

3. I have finite energy.  I can only truly care about so many things.  I'm learning to prioritize what these things are. For instance, I don't have the desire to care about organic food, and I probably never will. I'd rather spend that time caring about women's rights, watching hilarious YouTube videos, or reading a book. And there is nothing wrong with that. Everyone has different priorities. What matters to me is different than what matters to the next person and maybe we don't need to spend a lot of time trying to convince others to join our team. I can't do all the things and do them well. So I have to pick which things matter most and go from there. 

4. I need to think outside the four walls of my home.  The past decade has been a pretty self focused one for me.  My priorities were education and raising my family.  That's fine, but now the kids are older and more independent, and I have completed my formal education and am living a somewhat stable life. It's time for me to spend more time becoming informed about what's going on in our country and our world, and what I can do to make a positive impact. I'm starting by simply turning up the volume of the outside world and I hope that will lead me in a direction that allows me to get busy doing something valuable. 

5. I need to laugh more.  If you've known me for any length of time, you'll probably agree that I am a pretty silly and lighthearted person.  Parenting and navigating anxiety sobered me up for a while. Which is fine and even normal to an extent, because being completely responsible for tiny humans is exhausting and anxiety sucks. But I've come to the realization that I allowed these circumstances to wind me up a little too much. I became more worried and serious than is really necessary. I need to undo that. I want to make time to figure out what I find funny and intentionally experience it so I can lighten up in my 30s. I'm pretty sure I read somewhere that laughter is good for you, so I'm going with that. I'm on a quest to relax and laugh more, and I invite you to join me. Kate McKinnon and John Oliver, I'm counting on you guys. 

6. I have a team.  I have resigned myself to the fact that it's unrealistic to do life alone and do a very good job at it. I have called in the reinforcements. For the first time since middle school, I have a primary care doctor. And unlike the doctor I had in middle school, I actually like him and trust him with the bumps and bruises that pop up now and then.  I also found several specialists as well that I like and trust.  I now know who to call when I'm not feeling like myself, which is an important step in staying healthy. In addition to professionals, I have a team of friends and family who not only support me through difficult times but also make daily life much more enjoyable.

7. I'm not done yet. Yes, I've finished school and raised my children out of the baby stage and into the kid stage, and that was important, but there are still other important things for me to do. I love teaching and I love writing and I am excited to see where these passions take me. I feel that I've crossed a finish line or two in some regards and am preparing for another race altogether. I'm certain that I have a lot left to do with my time on earth.  

GOODBYE!

Apologizing for being me

Unnecessary worry

Analysis paralysis

Self absorption

Raising babies

Caring too much about what others think

Avoiding medical professionals

People who make me feel crummy

Excessive guilt and shame

Skirting around conversations that need to take place

Clothes I don't like
Living in my comfort zone
20s

HELLO!

Embracing who I am
Laughing regularly

Caring about issues outside my bubble

Raising kids
Standing up for what I believe in

Taking better care of myself

People who make me feel good

Forgiveness

Being frank when necessary

T-shirts that make me smile

Taking risks
30s


I think it's going to be a good decade.