Pumping Iron

Ever since my 4-year-old was born, I have not felt entirely like myself.

I've experienced exhaustion, anxiety, and irritability in varying degrees unlike I'd ever felt before she was born. I haven't felt that great and it has been frustrating. I've been to a variety of doctors in search of answers and have tried different medications without finding anything that got me back to feeling like myself in the long term.

I think I might finally be on to something.

Over the summer, I had my blood checked and discovered that my iron was freakishly low, so I've been on supplements since then. At a recheck in November, my ferritin level had climbed from 4 to 22, so I'm making progress, but I still have a ways to go. According to my doctor (and quite a bit of research I've read) a woman's ferritin should be a minimum of 30, with 50-100 being better.

The other day, my husband Tim sent me this article called The Missing Element in Female Fitness - The Iron Deficiency Epidemic, and I wanted to share it with you all because I found it to be really informative and pertinent to women's health.

The write explains that there are subtle levels of having low iron, and that even a slight deficiency can cause the symptoms I was experiencing. I'd been feeling exhausted and irritable (outside of what is normal for a mom of two) for quite some time and had had so much trouble pinpointing exactly what was causing it.

The writer goes on the explain the difference between adequate and optimal iron levels and that many general practitioners differ as to what level of iron they consider to be fine for women. I've been to a multitude of doctors in the past few years, and this was the first time my iron level was mentioned. I'm wondering how long I've had low iron for and if it is the main cause of the issues I've been dealing with off and on since Lydia was born over four years ago. Time will tell, I suppose. I hope I continue to feel better as the iron stores in my body climb to where they need to be.

By sharing what I have gone through, I hope you're moved to do a few things.

First, I think having a physical and blood work done on a regular basis is important. Especially if you aren't feeling like yourself. Our insurance completely covered a physical for Tim and I both this year. My doctor asked questions pertaining to nearly every area of my body and in turn, helped me solve a few other minor issues I've been experiencing but never would have thought to ask about.

Second, I think it is crucial that we busy moms take the time to take care of ourselves. Approach your health issues the way you'd approach your kids' health issues- do your research, speak with your doctor about your concerns, and take care of yourself. Get enough sleep. Give yourself time to relax now and then. Go easy on yourself when you are feeling under the weather. You can't take care of your family if you don't take care of yourself. Set a good example for your kids.

Third, don't give up on feeling good. If you, like me, have had issues you've been struggling to overcome for a while, I understand how frustrating that can be. Sometimes it just feels like it'd be easiest to accept feeling crummy and give up on finding a cause. Please don't give up on yourself. Keep searching until you find a doctor who is willing to stick with you until you find answers. 

So, my iron is (hopefully) still on its way up and I am feeling much better than I have in a long time. The quest for wellness is hard, but worth it. I want to encourage you to seek out a state of feeling good. If you don't feel good, life can be a real struggle. And sometimes, it doesn't take much to feel better. Get a physical, have some blood work done, and see if there is anything out of whack. Consider it a Christmas present to yourself.

Life is too short to accept feeling crummy.

The best I can do

An update on my attempt to consume less sugar.

I received several responses and recommendations based on my previous post. One told me I am not alone in my struggle. Another told me that I'm putting my healthy and risk and that I really need to stop eating so much sugar.  A third had a book recommendation for me. I appreciate all feedback, constructive and encouraging alike. 

Yes, I've struggled.  I've eaten junk trying in an attempt to quash the sugar craving.  I had pizza and McDonald's. I ate the brownie in a moment of defeat and weakness.

But I've had success too.

I said no to cinnamon rolls at church.

I said no to cider donuts, ice cream and other fair ground goodies at the Cider Mill.

I repeatedly said no to the package of Starburst Jellybeans innocently winking at me whenever I open the cabinet.  (Did you know they sold them year round? I bought them as a bribe for the kids, I swear!)

I thought it would be wise to see how many grams of sugar health experts recommend I consume each day. I did some googling.

No more than 25 grams are recommended per day for women. 

This led me to start looking at packages. 

What I found was scary!

I realized that I get more than half that amount in my coffee creamer alone. And that's just one cup. Usually I have two. Yikes.  

There are 12g of sugar in the packet of oatmeal I've been having for breakfast each day.  Sixteen grams in a container of yogurt.  7g in sprinkling of granola.  15g in vegetable soup.  Vegetable soup!!

I wonder if these "hidden" sources of sugar are playing into my problem.  I thought by cutting back on desserts and sweets I was doing well, but I may need to completely reevaluate my diet. I don't love cooking so I've come to lean heavily on easy to prepare foods. I cook dinner almost every night, but lunch and breakfast are easy grab meals around here, at least for me. 

To tell the truth, I'm not sure if I can be someone who counts things out for the rest of my life. 

In fact, I know that that's not who I want to be. I've done that before. I've counted calories. And while it is effective in weight loss, it is agonizing. 

I have two little girls watching my every move. Do I really want them to see me counting calories? 

I need to really think about how to proceed with this. 

Perhaps rather than counting calories or grams of sugar, I just need to add in more fresh fruits and veggies. Instead of a packet of oatmeal for breakfast, I can cook eggs. I can have my favorite knock-off Olive Garden salad for lunch. I can add less creamer to my coffee, or just drink less coffee in general. I think I can stick with the idea of eating fewer desserts. 

I can take more walks. 

I was feeling a bit discouraged about this whole thing, then I got a notification from my Fitbit. I hit my step goal five days in a row, which is the longest streak I've had in months! 

Wellness is a journey. I don't believe it will look the same for everyone. We are all different. Some of us have kids that run us ragged leaving us exhausted and ready to crawl into bed at 9pm.  Some of us don't. 

Some of us have the money for a gym membership or a personal trainer. Some of us do not. 

Some of us love to look at eat exotic recipes, while others of us are pickier, or more tired, or less willing to make separate meals for children who turn up their nose at anything with sauce. 

I'm going to eat fewer desserts.

I'm going to take more walks.

I'm going to cook more during the day.

But I am not going to feel guilty about eating the last brownie, or getting fast food on a crazy night, or eating sugary vegetable soup for lunch. Maybe sugar is bad for my body, but guilt is bad for my heart. 

I'm doing the best that I can to live well in all arenas of my life. Physical health. Mental wellness. Spirituality. Body and heart and soul.

I'm doing the best I can. 

And that's all anyone can ever do. 

Stop staring at me, brownie

Last weekend, I decided to cut back on my sugar intake. I wrote my situation in detail here at my previous blog. But the quick version is this: I'm addicted to sugar. The more I eat, the more I crave. The more I crave, the more I eat and the more unhealthy pounds I pack on. Not a good situation. I decided to cut back on sugar by only having one dessert item per week.

And here is the beautiful, perfect choice I made on Tuesday.

Gorgeous, isn't she?

In my quest to cut back on delicious sugar, I decided to allow myself some small cheats. Flavored coffee creamer had to stay. As I said before, I can't drink coffee without creamer and I can't survive interacting with humans sans coffee. In addition, I've been consuming Greek yogurt with granola as a snack or part of a meal. I didn't realize there are nearly 15g of sugar per serving of yogurt and almost as many per serving of granola. Sheesh. But since this combo does contain protein, fiber, and some other nutrients, I've decided to let it slide, for now.

Back to the brownie.

On Tuesday, I decided to take dinner to my friends who have recently had a baby. I decided to include brownies along with the lasagna and sides, so I made a 9x13 pan and split it between our households. I dropped off their dinner, and headed out to a Mom's Night Out with a couple of my friends.

I've noticed that I am filling that sad and empty sugar hole with lots of other foods. Like delicious carbs. Who knew the pita chips and hummus eat had nine servings per container? I consumed them in 2.5 days. When we went out to dinner, I quickly shoveled my face with delicious Thai food. Chicken stir fry with cashews, to be exact. I'm still thinking about it.

Nine servings? Whoops.

After I inhaled my delicious dinner, I ordered an appetizer. Yep. My friends were still eating and my hands got restless, so I decided on more food. I sucked down four sub-par crab rangoon and then popped in some chewing gum and downed three tall glasses of water. Have I mentioned that I have trouble sitting and doing nothing?

Anywho, I got home around 9pm and decided it was time for my one dessert of the week. I pried open the container of brownies and cut myself a rather large slice. I even went back for more. It was heaven. Honestly, I did a kick ass job baking those boxed-mix brownies. Triple chocolate. Gooey in the center. Perfection.

The problem is, it's Wednesday night at 9:42pm and I don't get another dessert for a week.

The bigger problem is, there's one brownie left.

It's been whispering my name all day. I've been tempted to just smell it, but I don't think that would do the trick. I told Tim to eat the entire row that remained, yet he left this one large serving behind to taunt me.

I almost fed it to the kids when they returned home from Awana tonight, but they'd already brushed their teeth. I'm hoping Tim takes it to work tomorrow because I don't think I can stand to be around it all day.

I definitely have a sugar addiction.

Saying no to myself is really hard.

I've been sitting in the discomfort of the cravings all day long.

It sucks.

They come and go. I've tried feeding them with other foods. I ate the leftover lasagna at 11:30am. It was good but the cravings lived on. This afternoon I ate 3 slices of Muenster cheese and half a row of Ritz veggie crackers. It did nothing for me.

Cravings suck.

Go away, stupid brownie.

I've been eyeing these, but I'm pretty sure they break the rules.