In which I attempt to get paid for writing

For the very first time, I submitted a short essay to a website for publishing.

I chose to submit to Scary Mommy, because I've been following it on Facebook for a while and the posts make me laugh. The essays on Scary Mommy take a funny, honest look at parenthood without sugar-coating it. Since I'm a stay-at-home mom with two kids that I'm homeschooling, parenting is something I can write about. It's pretty much my full-time (albeit unpaid) job at this point. 

As I was writing for my blog, I came up with something that sort of fit in with the kind of stuff that Scary Mommy runs. I took a closer look at the website and realized that they pay $100 for published posts. $100! The process seemed easy enough, so I decided to go for it. I finished my little essay and submit it to the website. I was told that I would receive a response within a week and that they might not respond to me if they decided not to run my essay.

The waiting began. I figured it wouldn't be published and that I wouldn't hear anything back. I did start to fantasize a little about what I would do with an extra hundred bucks. As a stay-at-home mom, my lovely husband brings in all the money and we use most of it for stuff like the mortgage, bills, and food. Mostly food, if I'm being honest. If I could bring in some of my own money, to use for fun stuff...well, it sounded great! I smiled as a peeked at my Amazon wish list and imagined ordering myself a couple of books, guilt-free. After mentally spending my $100 in different ways for a few minutes, I came back to reality. I reasoned that I most likely would not be hearing back from them and the chance of getting my first essay published was pretty low. 

I was surprised when, a few days later, an email from Scary Mommy showed up in my inbox. My heart was racing as I went to open it.

Was it possible to use my words to get THESE?!

I was told it was a great post, but that it wasn't something they could use at the time. I was encouraged to keep writing and to try submitting again because they are always looking for funny stuff. 

Instead of being bummed by my rejection, I became pumped.

For the first time, I put myself out there as a writer. Sure, I didn't get published. But that doesn't mean I won't some day. I'd love to have something published on their site. It's hilarious. My kind of people, my kind of stories. I have plenty of wacky parenting experiences each day. The idea of being able to write about one, have it shared with thousands of followers, and heck, make MONEY from it...well, it's kind of the dream!

I'd love to work at this "office"- in bed with a cat on my lap.

Therefore I have made a new goal for myself- to have my writing published on Scary Mommy sometime in the next year. I'm going to give it my best. 

Your turn: Tell me about a time that you failed or were rejected. How did it affect you?

This is my first post for the 30 Day Challenge.

I've got a dream

Before you read this post, you have to watch this video.

Watched it?

I'll take your word for it.

My dream is to be a writer.

It's a dream that I've had before. As a child I wrote lots of stories. As an adolescent, I wrote lots of poems and long, whiny journal entries. (I might share those sometime, just for fun.) In high school, I didn't think that Newspaper would be for me (I didn't think I was that kind of writer) but when I joined my senior year, I really enjoyed myself and wished that I had joined earlier.

As a kid, I always thought I'd grow up to be an author. By the end of high school, I'd decided I would be an English teacher. I learned that I loved editing so I thought that would be a good opportunity to wield a red pen on a regular basis.

When I shadowed in a high school English classroom as part of an assignment for an Intro to Teaching class, I realized that being an English teacher also means being a Literature teacher. While I'd always loved reading, I did not love the classics nor Shakespeare. I determined that I needed to change course. Luckily I figured that out right before I submitted my application to the School of Education at KU. I decided to go with Elementary Education because I did love teaching and kids, and I'd get to teach a variety of subjects.

My life kind of changed course for a while there (I became a wife and mom in a short amount of time) and my dream to be a writer faded.

I dreamed of getting my degree.

When that happened, I dreamed of owning my own home.

When that happened, I dreamed of successfully finishing student teaching while mothering a 2 year old.

When that happened, I dreamed of having another baby.

When that happened...well, since that has happened, I've pretty much just dreamed of being a decent mom and wife. Keeping everyone alive, not yelling too much. Not eating too much sugar. (Haha. Just kidding.)

Now that baby is four years old and I have a little bit of time for dreaming my own dreams again.

The desire to be a writer is there again. I'm not sure what kind of a writer I want to be.

My dad is convinced I need to write a book. Let me tell you about my last experience writing fiction. It was for a class at KU. We had to write three anonymous short stories. Here are the grades I received: A. B. C. In that order. Somehow I still received an A in the class.

I don't tend to gravitate toward fiction. I read some fiction. I enjoy reading fast-paced stories about almost anything, as long as it is something that keeps me turning pages. I actually read a lot of nonfiction. Right now I am dabbling in six different books. I just picked up two more from the library today. Of those eight books, only two are fiction. Is that weird?

If I were to write a nonfiction book, what on earth would I write about? I know my life's not interesting enough for TV (as I explained here) but is it interesting enough for a book? I'm not sure. I'm not really an expert on anything in particular either.

I'm just not sure a book is the answer. Sorry, Dad.

If not a book, then...what?

Is writing in this blog the answer to my dream of being a writer? If not that, then...what?

Maybe it's time for more Googling.

Fellow writers, I would love to hear about how you are flexing your muscles as a writer.

Beginnings

I've loved writing since I learned how. Truly, I do. But I struggle with finishing anything.

When I was in first grade, my parents abandoned me and my brother with my grandparents and went to San Francisco for four days. The souvenir they brought back for me was a diary. This diary, to be exact. They got it in China town.

See those rings on the side? My dad attached them so I could lock my diary. 

At the time, I didn't know how to write well enough to do so on my own. I dictated my journal entries to my parents and they patiently copied them down for me. By the time I reached second grade, my fine motor skills were decent enough that I could write my own journal entries. I've been doing it ever since.

I have stacks of journals and notebooks that chronicle my childhood years, teen drama, college years, faith journey and parenthood. I've kept a journal for my cousin, my children, and with my husband. Journaling is the only kind of writing I can do decently.

As a kid, I had tons of ideas for stories. I probably have at least 40 excellent first pages and a slew of creative characters. Unfortunately none of them are connected. I can never finish anything. I'm not good at developing the story past a mere idea. I don't know how to make characters that are dynamic. Getting started is no problem. But finishing? Not so much.

That's why journaling is a good fit for me. I write until I'm done and that's all there is to it. There are no page requirements. I don't have to finish the story. I can write about whatever I want.

About two years ago, I started a blog. I wrote a lot about God and my faith journey because that was the most important thing to me. Then I started writing about other things going on in my life. Then I started writing about homeschooling.

I realized that writing is good for me. I want to keep a blog as a creative outlet and a place to mull things over and vent my feelings. But I can't fit myself into the box of just writing about homeschooling or just writing about my faith. I have to be free to write about whatever it is that I need to write about. Writing helps me process things and sharing my writing brings clarity and the insight of others into the equation.

So that's what I am going to do.

Some days, I might write about what I'm doing with my kids. Other days, it might be about cake or my iron levels or TV shows or books or stupid stupid allergies. Hopefully my writing will be interesting to you. Maybe even beneficial in some way. I'd love it if I could make you laugh or think about something in a different light.

Honestly, I'm just trying to make my way in this world and doing the best I can as I go along. Writing about the journey should be fun. I guess we will see where I end up.