Lots of Thoughts

It is January 2nd, 2017, and I have a lot of thoughts running around in my head that need out. I've tried writing these things out in an organized fashion but it is not working. I've decided just to spew them all out at once.

It's a brain dump!

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I am SO glad I'm not throwing up any more. Yesterday was possibly the longest day of my life. I think I felt every single minute of the day. The 3 hour car ride was definitely the longest car ride I've ever been on. Thank the Lord for the wonderful Emergency Room with its kind nurses and bags of fluids and free pants and anti-nausea medications. So, so grateful.

I have been wanting to write a post about NaNoWriMo but I haven't been able to get it just the way I want it. I have several drafts just about NaNo, which is crazy. I don't know if I'll ever get one finished. In short, I LOVED NaNo and I think I'll continue giving it a try each year. What a wonderful experience. And no, you can't read my book yet. I still haven't read it. I'm a little afraid to.

One thing I learned about writing this year is that it doesn't have to be for a purpose. Writing for the sake of the writing process is a completely valid hobby. Writing needs to be practiced just like other hobbies and abilities. Writing can become a habit, as it did for me during the month of November. I love writing, so very much, and I hope to continue growing as a writer simply by writing more. Will I ever have a book published? Maybe. Maybe not. I need to keep working at it.

I am so, so grateful that we moved into this house. I am so glad we found it. I am so glad that all of our other offers were rejected. This house is just what we need right now and I am looking forward to loving it and living in it and making it ours as the year(s) continue. Hopefully we can figure out how to do that without exceeding our budget.

2017 sounds kind of futuristic to me. Tim will be 30 this year. I'll be 31. That's how old my parents were when I was born. The kids will be 6 and 9 by the year's end. That sounds crazy!

I love being 30. Something about turning 30 has given me the confidence to be who I am with less fear about what others think about it. It's great and powerful. I am great and powerful.

I have wonderful people in my life. I am grateful for friends who do puzzles with me and send me random pictures of cats and babies and their faces throughout the day. God bless Snapchat. I love you, friends. I love that I can have hour long phone chats with my sister. I'm grateful for all the people who listen and laugh and love me and play games with me and stay up late talking to me. It takes a village to raise an adult too, y'know.

I love our church and our Life Group especially. I didn't realize I needed to see all your faces every Wednesday night, but I do.

I have had four giant bottles of Powerade today and I finally cut myself off and switched to water. Rehydration, people. It's a serious matter. I ate a bowl of chicken soup for dinner and longingly looked at Lydia's pizza while she longingly looked at my soup. I think Lexi would be jealous of how many Saltines I ate today. I can't wait to eat more food tomorrow.

Life is all about ups and downs. Ups and downs. I mention them in just about every reflective piece of writing I create, and I finally GET it. THERE WILL ALWAYS BE UPS AND DOWNS! Downs suck, but they make ups more beautiful. Ups are great, but you wouldn't appreciate them without the downs. I am a very optimistic and positive person and I have grown through the ups and downs that 2016 brought my way.

The beginning of the year 2016 was kind of hard. There were some challenges There were some really hard moments where I wondered if I would make it through, and how I would make it through. There were some scary times that haunted me. I watched a LOT of TV.  Like, a LOT. It was kind of my way of dealing with hard things. My brain attempted to sabotage me, but I got the better of it. HA! I'm forever grateful for my amazing therapist who pointed me toward the medical professional I needed to get things sorted out. Brain health needs to be talked about without stigma. The brain is an organ that needs care just like like all the other organs in the body. My brain requires some medication to work properly, and that is OK. I feel so much better now than I did a year ago.

The middle of the year was characterized by transition. Changes. The end of the year was good and busy and full of people and love. I got into the habit of writing regularly and now I struggle to stay current on my TV. Yeah, Trump got elected, but I think we will be OK. At least we know SNL will have a lot of material to work with, huh? Gotta look on the bright side. Gotta keep fighting.

Kate McKinnon and John Oliver crack me up. New Girl and Brooklyn 99 are my favorite shows. I'm not current on This Is Us, but I'm loving it. Thank you, entertaining people, for entertaining me.

I have a gym membership and I know how to use it.

I'm really enjoying teaching again.

I love Spotify. When my 3 months of Premium end, I am going to be really disappointed. 90s music makes me so happy.

We are going to get that hole in the kitchen floor taken care of, folks. Sooner rather than later.

I put up multi-colored Christmas lights in my puzzle room and I am excited about it. Christmas lights make me happy and I don't care if they are tacky, Tim. Love you.

I am apparently in a very grateful and positive mood. I guess feeling better after feeling bad will do that to you.

2016 is over and done, 2017 is fresh and new and full of possibility. I mean, starting off the year violently ill was not how I pictured it, but that violent illness has already made me appreciate being able to keep liquids down, something I take for granted daily.

Ups and downs, my friends. Ups and downs.

Brain Dump

I have so many swirling thoughts that I need to just get some out. So here we go!



Lydia told me that she is starting to enjoy wearing shirts (instead of dresses) because she likes putting outfits together. Be still, my heart.

The kitten is becoming more insanely rambunctious with each passing day.

Is moving really a good idea?

Change is scary, staying the same is comfortable.

I'm glad I finished season 3 of Brooklyn 99. It was funny.

Why do my kids try to wear long sleeves and pants in the summer?

Maybe I should write a book.

Why do cats like going inside of plastic sacks so much?

I guess that's why they have to say "this bag is not a toy" on the side.

What if no one wants to buy our house?

What if everyone wants to buy our house and we can't find a place to live?!

What if someone steals our kitten?

Why do I have all of the pay stubs from my part time job in 2003 but none of the important paperwork that came with our house?

I am never saying utility statements to this degree again.

Will I ever learn to empty a paper shredder without getting crap all over the floor?

Why is Lexi so grumpy?

Lydia can do puzzles all the sudden and it is way cute!

Do Arya and Hiccup like each other?

They fight all the time but it looks like playing. Why can't they just cuddle like I've always wanted?

YOU WILL SNUGGLE AND YOU WILL LIKE IT!

Why is our shower rod so rusty? Whoa.

What were they thinking when they put in these weirdo speakers in our basement?

How are we going to refinish the floors with four people and two cats running around?

I hope I have all the paint needed for touch ups...

I hate painting.

I actually don't mind painting, but I don't think I'm that good at it.

Can I count pretzels and hummus as a meal?

Cuz I have been.

I just canceled our Omaha trip and I feel relieved.

A little sad, but it's the adulty/right thing to do.

Except for the fact that I had to pay a cancellation fee.

Oh well.

Maybe a stay cation will be cool.

Or super lame.

Teresa is the best, I'm so glad we reconnected.

John Oliver is also the best.

The kids are listening to audiobooks without headphones and it hurts me.

I think I have sensory processing disorder a little bit.

Sounds are the worst.

Except for purring cats.

I hope school goes well this fall.

I chose a lot of curricula that requires direct instruction. I hope I don't regret it.

I love books. We have so many. This next house better have a library. It'll be great. I just want to smell all the books.

We need a lofted room for school and such. Yay.

I hope we have enough money to retire on.

What am I going to do with myself when the kids move out?

I'll be so obsolete and weird.

I love how Lydia calls pretzels "prinsills"

God she is so so cute.

Why does my brain think so much?

Arya has the softest fur ever. So so soft.

I think I hear Lydia dropping prinsills on the floor.

Now I want pretzels. With hummus. But I don't want to fall into that trap again.

I wonder who our next president will be. It will probably be epic either way.

How did Trump get this far? Seriously. My biggest issue with him is the packaging. Like, him, in general. Be nice, dude.

I have so many political opinions that I keep private lest I ruin relationships left and right.

But it doesn't matter if I don't talk about politics on Facebook. Cuz my vote still counts the same.

My kids know way more about politics then I did at their ages. Like, I didn't even fully understand a caucus til this year.

America. Get it together.

Arya really wants me to pet her but she;s blo9cking the screen. The struggkle is real.

I should probably get some work done.

Did I eat breakfast?

I had cereal. Cereal is magnificent. I had it for dinner the other night and it was delightful.

I should probably go clean something.

I am the worst housekeeper. My children are not going to be that way.

I am paying so much for health insurance every month! But this year we have deductibles and I don't want to pay them so I am avoiding going to the doctor. For the rest of the year. That is stupid. Health care is a joke. A JOKE!

Why do we have so many CDs? Aren't those obsolete now? Get with the time, Franzens.

I pretty much use YouTube and the radio exclusively to listen to music.

We're going to see a house at 3. It's beautiful. I wonder if anyone is willing to accept a contingent offer.

I don't want to be homeless.

That filing cabinet is going to be SO heavy to move. Tim can do it.

The unfinished side of the basement is a DISASTER.

DISASTER.

I'm just going to throw everything away.

With an earth shattering ki-yi! Kee yi? Ke-yah? I don't know how to spell that. But I know how to scream it! KEE YAH!!!!

Sometimes I don't think people understand me fully.

I just noticed there are light fixtures I've never noticed before. Why? What switch turns those on?!

I need a vacation.

I need pretzels with hummus. That's like a vacation for my mouth.

KEE-YAH!!!