My Stupid Mouth

I have a giant book of CDs. Inside it are basically all of the CDs I've owned over the course of my life, excluding those that are crammed in the storage console of my old car. When I'm driving, I always have music going. I flip through all of the radio stations I have programmed and if there is nothing satisfactory playing, I'll switch to a CD. The girls and I have been listening to Taylor Swift excessively so I decided to dig through my giant CD book and add a few new ones to the smaller CD book I keep in the car. 

While flipping through, I found gems such as the soundtrack to the 1989 Ghostbusters II movie, Ace of Base's Cruel Summer, as well as burned copies of Jewel's Pieces of You and Survivor by Destiny's Child. I grabbed these and a few more, including John Mayer's Room for Squares, which I have zero recollection of purchasing. 

I popped in the John Mayer CD while grocery shopping and was delighted when the third track, My Stupid Mouth, began playing. I had completely forgotten about this super relatable song. 

Take a listen and see if it speaks to you. 

The next time I had the kids in the car, I played it for them, telling Lexi, my 7-year-old, that I could really relate to it because I have a tendency to say dumb things. The song got to the part where John sings, "I'm never speaking up again, starting now," and Lexi said to me, "Mom, you're supposed to stand up for what you believe in. Even if people don't like it."

Whoa.

Wisdom dropped from the mouth of a child. I love that she knows it is important to stand up for what you believe in. She's right, of course. I'll have to teach her the fine art of knowing when to speak up because it's important and worth it and when to keep quiet because the context is wrong. I'm still learning to walk that line myself.

I find that I tend to oscillate between bravely speaking my mind and keeping my mouth shut for fear of being rejected or offending someone. It can be hard to know what to say and when to say it. I am lucky enough to have some friends that I can be 100% real with, without fear, and I think that's what keeps me going. So thanks, you guys.

There's a line in the song that pops into my head from time to time.

"One more thing

Why is it my fault?
So maybe I try too hard
But it's all because of this desire
I just want to be liked
I just want to be funny
Looks like the joke's on me
So call me captain backfire"

I do want to be liked. I do hope to be funny. I am me.

I'll probably spend the rest of my life adjusting and readjusting the filter between my brain and my mouth in order to find that perfect balance between standing up for what I believe in and making a fool of myself.

That's just who I am.

I won't apologize for that. 

The Wall - Video Blog

When we moved into our new house, we immediately had a half wall removed. Now I need help figuring out what to do with the space. I decided to try a video blog so I could show you the space without having to take and upload a bunch of pictures. Let me know what you think!

September & October Goals

September Goals Update

September was kind of a weird month, in my opinion. It was blazing hot for the most part, which I didn't love. The good news is that my allergies were under control and I was able to be outside without feeling like death. It was a busy month of getting back into routines, which was nice. I feel like I accomplished quite a bit, but there's still a lot to do, particularly where the house is concerned. But maybe there will always be updates to make. We shall see.

 I did not miss our old house at all, despite the fact that it entered my dreams a few times. I love it here! I got a new haircut that has made me feel sassy and adventurous so get ready for that. My friend and I started a YouTube channel called That's Puzzling, and I'm pretty sure I will make millions being a YouTube personality some day. Please fill me in on the puzzling issues in your life so I can talk about them on the internet like a regular friend would do. 

 Anyway, here's how I did with my goals this month. 

Start setting up my basement mom cave - I've got a couple of tables and puzzles going down there. I need to decorate a little and maybe get some chairs that can live down there. 

Clear boxes and junk from main floor - Check

Arrange new and old furniture - The main floor is looking better

Go to Spinach Festival together - The kids and I went with my parents. It was fun.

Have a movie or game night/Schedule and host some kind of get together - Had a puzzle night with friends a couple times and had my brother over for dinner and games

Attempt another date night - We had lunch and saw Mastermind. It was pretty dang dumb. 

Continue karate and volleyball - Check. We won a game, shockingly. 

Walk every week - Check. It was soooo hot early in the month but now that it's cooler I'm getting out there more. 

Go see Masterminds - Check. Like I said, dumb. Which is unfortunate because it had a great cast. 

Practice handwriting with Lydia more regularly - Check. 

Continue writing regularly, in whatever form inspires me - Check. 

Create a space for journaling and/or Bible study - I got some bar height chairs and made a space. Just need to better utilize it. I also have a decorating idea. 
Work back up to a full schedule of subjects - We're nearly there. 

Pick up the rest of our boxes from Mark and Kathy's garage and go through them - I picked up a van load. Most of it is in the garage or spread all over Lydia's room. Blarf. 
Return all the stuff I bought that I don't want (it's a real struggle) - I returned a lot of stuff. Got a couple of tension rods floating around...
Get a grip on the new budget - Still have yet to have a normal month of expenses and pay, so I'm waiting to see what that's going to look like. 

Read two books - So I made the call to buy the book Alexander Hamilton, an 800+ page biography of the guy. It's fascinating but it's not quick reading. So it's going to take me a while. Also working on a book a friend wrote. 

October Goals 

House

Have someone come out and look at our kitchen

Pick out a new sink

Pick up and unpack more boxes 

Personal

Finish at least two chapters of Alexander Hamilton

Get into a morning routine for writing and Bible reading

Family

Spend some time in Lawrence at the Pumpkin Patch

Wellness

Try out my Dad's gym

Consider getting a membership and starting a weight routine

Social

Get together with friends every week in some form

Have Book Club?

School

Finish the next writing unit

Get caught back up with planning

Creative

Finish a story

Publish at least two more episodes of That's Puzzling (the first episode is here if you haven't had the pleasure of watching it)