Night Wonderings

It is 5:24AM and I am awake.

I am not a morning person, so this is not intentional.

I went to bed shortly before midnight. Around 3:45, I woke up and heard some scuttling noises indicating that a child was up and using the bathroom. For some reason, I could not get back to sleep.

I got up and saw that a crack of light under Lexi's door, so I went into her room. She was sitting on her bed, examining her toe by the light of her reading lamp. Apparently she got up to go to the bathroom but her toe was hurting a lot.

It looked like a hangnail/someone possibly biting their toenails (ew) situation, so I got her a bandaid and wrapped it around the offending toe. She then told me that she is too cold with the fan on but too hot with the fan off. I helped her change out of the Christmas sweater she decided to wear to bed and into a t-shirt instead. Then I tucked her back in and made a mild threat about how I do not want to see light under her door in the middle of the night anymore.

She went back to sleep and I proceeded to lay in bed and think all of the things.

I guess I am not going to sleep any more tonight, or should I say this morning.

So here I am.

I threw a load of hand towels and napkins into the washing machine, sent an email I've been meaning to write for a while, and turned on the lights on the Christmas tree.

Since the middle of the night/early morning is the perfect time for insomnia-induced self-reflection, here goes.

I haven't been doing well with my goals this month.

My goal was to write five posts per week, and I have written about one per week.

My goal was to do a work out video two days per week and a walking video three days per week.

I have not done a work out all month and it has been weeks since I have done a walking video at all.

Normally, I would just cut myself some slack. It's December. Christmas is nearly here. It's a busy time.

But.

I haven't been feeling great. I've been feeling kind of slumpy and irritable still.

I wonder if it's because I have not gotten enough (any) real exercise.

I wonder if it is because I haven't taken the time to write and process my feelings as much as I need to.

Perhaps I need to start eating meals that include more nutritious items than ramen noodles.

I need to take better care of myself. I do!

There have been a few times that I have wanted to write, but I've not had the time to create or edit graphics, so I have refrained.

Pictures are nice, but writing is good for me, and I need to do it even when it looks raw and messy and without an accompanying photo.

I'm going to write more.

I need to exercise more. I think it would do me good to get outside and walk, even if it is a little cold. It's been tricky to do this because I don't like walking in the dark and it is dark by the time Tim gets home from work.

Too bad.

I need to move anyway.

I am going to exercise more.

I need to find some warm, filling, nutritious meals that I can look forward to this winter. Easy things, that I will actually make and eat.

I am going to look up some recipes. If you have any, please share them in the comments.

When I was a kid, I could not sleep at all on Christmas Eve. I was up most of the night, my stomach a ball of excited nerves. I couldn't wait to get downstairs and open presents.

When I heard Lexi stirring a few hours ago, I was afraid that she was having the same problem I used to have. Excitement induced, holiday-specific insomnia. It would only be fair.

I once woke my parents up at 2AM on Christmas morning because I was too excited to sleep.

Sorry Mom and Dad.

Lexi's night waking and toe injury seem like no big thing compared to what I used to put my parents through.

Plus, it gave me the opportunity to reflect and get some laundry done.

I am going to try to take better care of myself.

Perhaps I will start by going back to bed.